skidmo_fic (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
skidmo_fic) wrote2007-05-10 07:03 pm
skidmo_fic) wrote2007-05-10 07:03 pm
Entry tags:
- chuck,
- fics,
- het,
- lorne,
- lorne/teyla,
- sheppard,
- stackhouse,
- teyla,
- weir,
- zelenka
Everything Was Beautiful (PG)
Title: Everything Was Beautiful
Rating: PG
Pairing: Lorne/Teyla
Word Count: 2042
Warning: angst
Spoilers: Return pt 1 & 2
Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me...sadly
Feedback: yes, please.
Summary: Lorne’s return to Atlantis is not quite what he had expected.
A/N: Title is from a Kurt Vonnegut quote. This is a companion piece to Desperation Song.
Sliding into the pilot’s seat of Jumper 4 was like coming home. He sat for a moment, listening to her humming around him. (Ships are always female, but for Lorne, anything associated with Atlantis always was too.) He brought up the HUD, not caring that it showed him only the storage bay they were keeping her in while they loaded her up. It was something familiar. The first time he’d used his ATA gene in weeks. It felt right. He heard a banging noise from the rear and knew he’d have to get up and help them load the cargo he’d be ferrying back to the city, but he took a moment to run his hands over the controls first, whispering to her in his mind, knowing she’d hear him, “I missed you, girl.”
He was glad they hadn’t destroyed the bridge after all. He didn’t think he would have lasted even the 18 days it would take for the Daedelus to get back to Earth, much less the 18 more it would take to return to Atlantis. Most of the science staff would have to take the slow way, but Lorne and the Marines and a few select scientists got to take the quick road.
They had packed up the equipment they would need in the next month and decided it would take about four trips through the gate one jumper at a time, plus several more to get all the personnel. There wasn’t room at the SGC for more than that. When they had the equipment loaded up, Lorne took a quick survey of his passengers. Zelenka had commandeered the passenger seat, and Stackhouse, Fernandez and Jacobs were in the back. They were missing one, and Lorne was about to ask where he was when he saw a very familiar face pop around the corner.
“Sorry I was late, Sir. Walter wanted to make sure I had the newest protocols for unscheduled off-world activations before we left.”
Lorne just grinned. He hadn’t even realized how much he’d missed the Canadian sergeant who was always there to greet him when he came back to the city from a mission. “No problem, Chuck. Strap yourself in.”
(It was a widely spread myth on Atlantis that Chuck had no last name. The fact that even Lorne, who called everyone by their last name, called him Chuck only added fuel to that rumor, but Lorne felt like he was being given a second chance, and learning Chuck’s last name was on his list of things to do differently this time.)
Lorne closed the door and let himself revel momentarily in the familiar sound of the jumper pressurizing before taking off and maneuvering her to the exit bay that would lead them to the gateroom. He tapped his radio, “Flight, this is Jumper 4, we are good to go.”
He heard Landry’s voice coming through his earpiece, “Roger that, Jumper 4, you are cleared to depart.”
Lorne looked over his shoulder at the eager faces of his passengers. “Okay, boys and girls, did everybody use the bathroom before we left?” A groan from Zelenka and a chuckle from Stackhouse were the only responses. “Everybody ready to go home?”
Every person in the jumper was looking at him with an enormous grin on his face. Lorne reached out to dial the gate, but paused for a second. “You wanna do the honors, Doc?”
“I thought you would never ask, Major,” Zelenka replied, his hands moving almost reverently over the DHD. As he keyed in the seventh chevron, the sound of the wormhole forming was nearly drowned out by the enthusiastic “Oorah!” from the Marines.
Lorne lowered the jumper into the gateroom and paused just in front of the event horizon. Without a backward glance, he said, “It’s been a blast guys. We should do this again sometime….Or not,” before easing the jumper through the gate.
In the five years since he’d joined the Stargate Program, Lorne had traveled through countless wormholes, but he could almost swear it felt different this time. They rematerialized at the midway station, and Lorne took a deep breath before dialing the address for Atlantis and sending in his IDC. His radio crackled in his ear, and this time it was Sheppard’s voice he heard.
“It’s about time you guys called. We’ve been sitting by the phone for hours.”
Lorne smirked. “Sorry, Sir. We were waiting for Chuck.”
“That’s all right, Major. I know how those Canadians can be.”
An indignant sounding, “Hey!” in the background let Lorne know that McKay was probably in the gateroom as well.
“We’ve lowered the shield, Jumper 4. You’re clear to come on home.”
“Thank you, Sir.”
There was no hesitation this time. The jumper slid straight into the shimmering blue light, and then they were home.
***
Lorne watched as the last pallet was unloaded from the back of the jumper, then left the jumper bay to see if they needed him for anything else before he went back for another load. When he got to the control room, he saw her.
She was just standing with Dr. Weir and Ronon, surveying the activity, smiling softly at Chuck, who was examining his work station for any changes. She looked so right standing there. Everything slid into place for Lorne as he watched her. This was right. This was good. This was what it meant to be home.
She turned then and saw him, her smile growing, though there was a sadness behind it that Lorne didn’t remember being there before.
“Major, it is good to see you well.” She greeted him with the Athosian embrace, placing her small, strong hands on his shoulders and touching their foreheads together.
“It’s good to see you too, Teyla.” He was sure that anyone who heard him could tell how much he meant that, but he didn’t care. He wanted her to know.
Before he could say anything else, Dr. Weir was at his side. “Welcome back, Major.”
“Thank you, Ma’am. It’s good to be home. I see you managed to keep her in one piece.”
“We did our best, Major.”
Teyla smiled again, catching his eye, and then the colonel showed up, and Lorne was sent off for his next ferry run, thinking about Teyla’s eyes and wondering when her smile had become so melancholy.
***
By the time Lorne was done with the last trip and had unloaded the jumper for the last time, it was late, and he was exhausted, but he wanted to see Teyla before he called it a night. He walked the familiar corridors slowly, soothed by the browns and blues he’d once thought so bland. When he reached her door, he paused for a moment, wondering if maybe he should have showered first, but he’d been anxious to see her, and he hadn’t wanted to wait. He waved his hand in front of the panel to the right of the door and was rewarded with the soft chiming of the Ancient doorbell.
When she didn’t answer, he tried again. Still no answer. Maybe she wasn’t in her room. He checked the gyms and the mess before deciding to go back to his room. He was unwilling to hail her on the radio because he still wasn’t quite ready to advertise their relationship, and Atlantis’s rumor mill was the most effective he’d ever seen.
He opened his door with a sigh and was surprised to find Teyla in his quarters, sitting on his bed.
“I’ve been looking all over for you.”
“I wished to speak with you here.”
Lorne smiled and crossed the room, pulling her up and into his arms. “I missed you. I missed you so much.”
She didn’t reply, but her arms tightened around his neck. He pulled back slightly and leaned down to kiss her, but she brought a hand up to his lips, stopping him.
“There is something I wish to speak with you about, Evan.”
She always called him Evan when they were alone. He’d been Lorne for so long that it always felt a little strange to hear his first name from anyone but his mother, but when Teyla said it, it fit. He smiled at her and took her hands, sitting down on the bed and tugging her with him.
“We can talk about whatever you want. Tonight, I’m all yours.”
The sadness he had noticed earlier was readily apparent in her eyes as she cast them down, away from his face.
“That is what I wish to speak with you about.”
He reached out a hand and placed it under her chin, tilting her face upwards. “What is it? What’s wrong?” An icy ball of fear was settling in his stomach. This was not how he had imagined their reunion going.
She stood up and began to pace the room in obvious agitation. “When your people first came to Atlantis, they did us a great service, and my people are forever grateful for it. Your efforts in the war against the Wraith have been beyond our wildest imaginations. But there is one thing that troubles us still.”
She paused and Lorne watched her face as she struggled to find the words. “When the first of your people came here, they did not believe they would ever be able to return, yet they kept themselves separate from those they met here. We understood their reluctance to be caution on their part. They were unaccustomed to our ways, to life in this world. But it has been nearly three years now and still you keep yourselves separate.”
Lorne frowned. “I don’t understand what you mean. We took your people in. We’ve formed trade relations with several worlds. You and Ronon live in the city. You’re part of Sheppard’s team.”
She shook her head slowly, not meeting his gaze. “That is not what I mean. You have formed superficial bonds, enough to survive, but you have no true investment here. When the Ancestors returned, you fled back to Earth. You left us all here to face the Wraith alone.”
“We had no choice!”
“There is always a choice, Evan. You could have chosen to stay.”
“Teyla, I’m an officer in the United States Air Force. I have to go where and when they tell me to. It’s my job.”
When she finally looked at him, the sadness that he had seen earlier had grown so that it broke his heart to look at her. “As you say, it is your job. But what consequence would there have been if you had chosen to stay? You thought you would never return. If that were the case, you would simply have been choosing to live your life out here.” She didn’t say with me, but he heard it anyway.
“Teyla...I....You know I love you.”
“Do you?”
“You could’ve come with me.”
“My people need me here. They rely on me.”
He stood now and clasped her hands in his. “I do love you, Teyla. You have to believe me.”
“I believe you, Evan, but it is not enough.”
“What would be enough? What can I do?” He heard the desperation in his voice, but he was beyond caring. He couldn’t lose her. She was his Atlantis.
“Can you promise me that you will not leave me again?”
The question was like a chisel, carefully wielded, shattering his heart. Years ago, his father had told him that an officer chose his country over anything else in the world. All Lorne had ever wanted was to be an officer. He wanted to say yes, to lie and let her believe he would choose her the next time. But he couldn’t.
Slowly, he dropped her hands, his eyes on the floor. “I can’t. I have a duty to fulfill.”
He didn’t have to look at her face to know there were tears streaking it, but her voice was firm as she said, “That is why my people do not yet trust you fully. We would bind ourselves to you, but you will not do the same for us.”
He heard her soft footsteps moving away, then the quiet whoosh of the door opening and closing behind her.
Then silence.
fin
Rating: PG
Pairing: Lorne/Teyla
Word Count: 2042
Warning: angst
Spoilers: Return pt 1 & 2
Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me...sadly
Feedback: yes, please.
Summary: Lorne’s return to Atlantis is not quite what he had expected.
A/N: Title is from a Kurt Vonnegut quote. This is a companion piece to Desperation Song.
Sliding into the pilot’s seat of Jumper 4 was like coming home. He sat for a moment, listening to her humming around him. (Ships are always female, but for Lorne, anything associated with Atlantis always was too.) He brought up the HUD, not caring that it showed him only the storage bay they were keeping her in while they loaded her up. It was something familiar. The first time he’d used his ATA gene in weeks. It felt right. He heard a banging noise from the rear and knew he’d have to get up and help them load the cargo he’d be ferrying back to the city, but he took a moment to run his hands over the controls first, whispering to her in his mind, knowing she’d hear him, “I missed you, girl.”
He was glad they hadn’t destroyed the bridge after all. He didn’t think he would have lasted even the 18 days it would take for the Daedelus to get back to Earth, much less the 18 more it would take to return to Atlantis. Most of the science staff would have to take the slow way, but Lorne and the Marines and a few select scientists got to take the quick road.
They had packed up the equipment they would need in the next month and decided it would take about four trips through the gate one jumper at a time, plus several more to get all the personnel. There wasn’t room at the SGC for more than that. When they had the equipment loaded up, Lorne took a quick survey of his passengers. Zelenka had commandeered the passenger seat, and Stackhouse, Fernandez and Jacobs were in the back. They were missing one, and Lorne was about to ask where he was when he saw a very familiar face pop around the corner.
“Sorry I was late, Sir. Walter wanted to make sure I had the newest protocols for unscheduled off-world activations before we left.”
Lorne just grinned. He hadn’t even realized how much he’d missed the Canadian sergeant who was always there to greet him when he came back to the city from a mission. “No problem, Chuck. Strap yourself in.”
(It was a widely spread myth on Atlantis that Chuck had no last name. The fact that even Lorne, who called everyone by their last name, called him Chuck only added fuel to that rumor, but Lorne felt like he was being given a second chance, and learning Chuck’s last name was on his list of things to do differently this time.)
Lorne closed the door and let himself revel momentarily in the familiar sound of the jumper pressurizing before taking off and maneuvering her to the exit bay that would lead them to the gateroom. He tapped his radio, “Flight, this is Jumper 4, we are good to go.”
He heard Landry’s voice coming through his earpiece, “Roger that, Jumper 4, you are cleared to depart.”
Lorne looked over his shoulder at the eager faces of his passengers. “Okay, boys and girls, did everybody use the bathroom before we left?” A groan from Zelenka and a chuckle from Stackhouse were the only responses. “Everybody ready to go home?”
Every person in the jumper was looking at him with an enormous grin on his face. Lorne reached out to dial the gate, but paused for a second. “You wanna do the honors, Doc?”
“I thought you would never ask, Major,” Zelenka replied, his hands moving almost reverently over the DHD. As he keyed in the seventh chevron, the sound of the wormhole forming was nearly drowned out by the enthusiastic “Oorah!” from the Marines.
Lorne lowered the jumper into the gateroom and paused just in front of the event horizon. Without a backward glance, he said, “It’s been a blast guys. We should do this again sometime….Or not,” before easing the jumper through the gate.
In the five years since he’d joined the Stargate Program, Lorne had traveled through countless wormholes, but he could almost swear it felt different this time. They rematerialized at the midway station, and Lorne took a deep breath before dialing the address for Atlantis and sending in his IDC. His radio crackled in his ear, and this time it was Sheppard’s voice he heard.
“It’s about time you guys called. We’ve been sitting by the phone for hours.”
Lorne smirked. “Sorry, Sir. We were waiting for Chuck.”
“That’s all right, Major. I know how those Canadians can be.”
An indignant sounding, “Hey!” in the background let Lorne know that McKay was probably in the gateroom as well.
“We’ve lowered the shield, Jumper 4. You’re clear to come on home.”
“Thank you, Sir.”
There was no hesitation this time. The jumper slid straight into the shimmering blue light, and then they were home.
***
Lorne watched as the last pallet was unloaded from the back of the jumper, then left the jumper bay to see if they needed him for anything else before he went back for another load. When he got to the control room, he saw her.
She was just standing with Dr. Weir and Ronon, surveying the activity, smiling softly at Chuck, who was examining his work station for any changes. She looked so right standing there. Everything slid into place for Lorne as he watched her. This was right. This was good. This was what it meant to be home.
She turned then and saw him, her smile growing, though there was a sadness behind it that Lorne didn’t remember being there before.
“Major, it is good to see you well.” She greeted him with the Athosian embrace, placing her small, strong hands on his shoulders and touching their foreheads together.
“It’s good to see you too, Teyla.” He was sure that anyone who heard him could tell how much he meant that, but he didn’t care. He wanted her to know.
Before he could say anything else, Dr. Weir was at his side. “Welcome back, Major.”
“Thank you, Ma’am. It’s good to be home. I see you managed to keep her in one piece.”
“We did our best, Major.”
Teyla smiled again, catching his eye, and then the colonel showed up, and Lorne was sent off for his next ferry run, thinking about Teyla’s eyes and wondering when her smile had become so melancholy.
***
By the time Lorne was done with the last trip and had unloaded the jumper for the last time, it was late, and he was exhausted, but he wanted to see Teyla before he called it a night. He walked the familiar corridors slowly, soothed by the browns and blues he’d once thought so bland. When he reached her door, he paused for a moment, wondering if maybe he should have showered first, but he’d been anxious to see her, and he hadn’t wanted to wait. He waved his hand in front of the panel to the right of the door and was rewarded with the soft chiming of the Ancient doorbell.
When she didn’t answer, he tried again. Still no answer. Maybe she wasn’t in her room. He checked the gyms and the mess before deciding to go back to his room. He was unwilling to hail her on the radio because he still wasn’t quite ready to advertise their relationship, and Atlantis’s rumor mill was the most effective he’d ever seen.
He opened his door with a sigh and was surprised to find Teyla in his quarters, sitting on his bed.
“I’ve been looking all over for you.”
“I wished to speak with you here.”
Lorne smiled and crossed the room, pulling her up and into his arms. “I missed you. I missed you so much.”
She didn’t reply, but her arms tightened around his neck. He pulled back slightly and leaned down to kiss her, but she brought a hand up to his lips, stopping him.
“There is something I wish to speak with you about, Evan.”
She always called him Evan when they were alone. He’d been Lorne for so long that it always felt a little strange to hear his first name from anyone but his mother, but when Teyla said it, it fit. He smiled at her and took her hands, sitting down on the bed and tugging her with him.
“We can talk about whatever you want. Tonight, I’m all yours.”
The sadness he had noticed earlier was readily apparent in her eyes as she cast them down, away from his face.
“That is what I wish to speak with you about.”
He reached out a hand and placed it under her chin, tilting her face upwards. “What is it? What’s wrong?” An icy ball of fear was settling in his stomach. This was not how he had imagined their reunion going.
She stood up and began to pace the room in obvious agitation. “When your people first came to Atlantis, they did us a great service, and my people are forever grateful for it. Your efforts in the war against the Wraith have been beyond our wildest imaginations. But there is one thing that troubles us still.”
She paused and Lorne watched her face as she struggled to find the words. “When the first of your people came here, they did not believe they would ever be able to return, yet they kept themselves separate from those they met here. We understood their reluctance to be caution on their part. They were unaccustomed to our ways, to life in this world. But it has been nearly three years now and still you keep yourselves separate.”
Lorne frowned. “I don’t understand what you mean. We took your people in. We’ve formed trade relations with several worlds. You and Ronon live in the city. You’re part of Sheppard’s team.”
She shook her head slowly, not meeting his gaze. “That is not what I mean. You have formed superficial bonds, enough to survive, but you have no true investment here. When the Ancestors returned, you fled back to Earth. You left us all here to face the Wraith alone.”
“We had no choice!”
“There is always a choice, Evan. You could have chosen to stay.”
“Teyla, I’m an officer in the United States Air Force. I have to go where and when they tell me to. It’s my job.”
When she finally looked at him, the sadness that he had seen earlier had grown so that it broke his heart to look at her. “As you say, it is your job. But what consequence would there have been if you had chosen to stay? You thought you would never return. If that were the case, you would simply have been choosing to live your life out here.” She didn’t say with me, but he heard it anyway.
“Teyla...I....You know I love you.”
“Do you?”
“You could’ve come with me.”
“My people need me here. They rely on me.”
He stood now and clasped her hands in his. “I do love you, Teyla. You have to believe me.”
“I believe you, Evan, but it is not enough.”
“What would be enough? What can I do?” He heard the desperation in his voice, but he was beyond caring. He couldn’t lose her. She was his Atlantis.
“Can you promise me that you will not leave me again?”
The question was like a chisel, carefully wielded, shattering his heart. Years ago, his father had told him that an officer chose his country over anything else in the world. All Lorne had ever wanted was to be an officer. He wanted to say yes, to lie and let her believe he would choose her the next time. But he couldn’t.
Slowly, he dropped her hands, his eyes on the floor. “I can’t. I have a duty to fulfill.”
He didn’t have to look at her face to know there were tears streaking it, but her voice was firm as she said, “That is why my people do not yet trust you fully. We would bind ourselves to you, but you will not do the same for us.”
He heard her soft footsteps moving away, then the quiet whoosh of the door opening and closing behind her.
Then silence.
fin
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For some reason, I just can't seem to give Lorne a happy ending lately.
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*sniff*
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Sorry?