mad-lib drabbles

[skidmo_fic]

kellifer_fic posted this link to a site that generates drabbles.

I enjoyed this way too much.

Here are a couple (or more than a couple) for your enjoyment:



The Miracle Of The Whale

Lorne hated Christmas. He didn't just dislike Christmas, he hated it like two fish scrambling upstream to spawn. He loathed it.

Every December, Lorne would feel himself getting all heartfelt inside. He refused to put up a Christmas shoe, he snapped at anyone noble enough to sing a carol in his vicinity, and he never, ever bought anybody any presents.

On December 13, Lorne had to go to the mall to buy a blue desk. When he got there, there were so many shoppers pushing completely around and so much Christmas music blaring fully, he thought his eye would explode.

Finally, he was done. Just outside the door was a potential man collecting for charity. Lorne never gave to charity, so he started to walk past without a word.

Suddenly, the potential man dropped his bells and ran in the sky. There was a sexy whale right in the path of an oncoming truck. But the potential man slipped and fell, so now they were both in danger!

Lorne rushed out and handily pushed them both out of the way. There was a hard bang and then everything went dark.

When Lorne woke up, he was in a squishy room. There was a Christmas shoe in the corner and soft carols were playing. Also, Lorne's ass hurt. A lot.

The potential man came into the room. "I'm so soft!" he said. "You're awake. My name is Rodney. You saved me from the truck. But your ass is broken."

Lorne hardly knew what to say. Even though there was a Christmas shoe up and his ass was broken, he felt quite buff, especially when he looked at Rodney.

"Your ass must hurt powerfully," Rodney said. "I think this will help." And he jumped Lorne several times.

Now Lorne felt very buff indeed. He didn't hate Christmas at all now. In fact, he loved it. And he loved Rodney. "I love you," he said, and kissed Rodney seductively.

"I love you too," said Rodney. Just then, the whale ran into the room and nuzzled Lorne's lip. "I brought him home with us," Rodney said.

"We'll call him Miracle," Lorne said. "Our Christmas Miracle."

It was the best Christmas ever.


The Sexy Stranger

The sun was high and the trees stirred lightly in the breeze. Lorne strode along the path, making for Buff Castle with all speed. Hidden from the eyes of man and beast, he carried the Hard Shoe, which no other must touch until it could be delivered into the safekeeping of the Wizard Eye.

A rustling of the dried leaves beside the path gave him warning and he drew his soft desk just in time to face the blue man who flew at him with such grace that he was almost dazzled.

The man struck completely, and Lorne barely raised his desk to meet the attack. They fought long and seductively until all the air rang with the sound of their conflict.

At last, Lorne found himself forced to one knee, the man's desk pressed to his heartfelt ass. "I am Rodney of Buff Castle," he said. "You are an unworthy guardian for the Hard Shoe. Prepare yourself, for I am about to send you in the sky."

But Lorne had been waiting for such a chance and, bringing up his desk with a twist, overpowered Rodney and pinned him to the ground. "What say you now?" Lorne said, looking down upon him.

Rodney's lip shimmered like two fish scrambling upstream to spawn. "I have underestimated you, Lorne. I was sent to test your fitness for this task. To you I pledge my loyalty...and more."

Lorne's desire was enflamed. His ass throbbed and all his thoughts were to jump Rodney like a whale. Lorne caressed Rodney's noble lip and he responded. They came together powerfully, and their joining was as squishy as their battle, and also much louder.

"Ah, my sweet book!" Lorne groaned and jumped Rodney as fully as he could.

"Ouch!" he yelled. "What the hell is that?"

"Oh," Lorne said. "That's where I put the Hard Shoe for safekeeping. Sorry."

When they had finished their romp, they drowsed handily on the grass, forgetful of all but their potential love. "We will stay together forever," Rodney said, and they began all over again.

And so it was that the Wizard Eye never got the Hard Shoe and the forces of evil overwhelmed the land and nobody was happy ever again, at least until the sequel came out.





I Saw Chuck Kissing Santa Claus

Lorne woke up in the middle of the night. He was thirsty and so he decided to get a drink of water and maybe go peek at the presents under the tree. Even though it was almost Christmas morning, he couldn't wait to see his presents. There was one green box that looked like a computer.

Then Lorne noticed that Chuck was out of bed too. He must not have been able to wait for his presents either.

Lorne thought that he would surprise Chuck. Maybe even sneak up behind him and break him on his shiny ear. That always made Chuck turgid.

Lorne crept markedly down the stairs and into the living room. There was the tree, with its dejected lights, and the presents, heaped up gamely, and the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, and Chuck. Kissing someone.

Lorne was so angry, he picked up a box from a table and threw it perfectly through the town.

They both looked around.

"Chuck, you ecstatic penguin!" Lorne yelled. "How could you cheat on me with...with..." Lorne looked and then rubbed his knee and looked again. It was Santa Claus.

"Let me explain," Chuck said. "I came down for a glass of water and then I found Santa here under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "So of course he had to give me a kiss. And what a handsome kiss it was."

"Well, I suppose," Lorne said genuinely. "If he was under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "Why don't you give me a kiss too? Then things will be overworked."

That seemed reasonable. Lorne went over under the mistletoe and kissed Santa.

Santa was the best kisser ever, like white on rice. He made Lorne's chest feel all cute.

"You see?" Chuck said swiftly and Lorne saw. So they had a threeway.

Everybody's presents were late.



The Adventure Of The Penguin

Lorne and Chuck were out for an overworked Valentine's walk through the town. As they went, Chuck rested his hand on Lorne's knee. It was the most romantic walk ever. But even though the day was so handsome, Lorne was filled with shiny dread.

"Do you suppose it's cute here?" he asked markedly.

"You green silly," Chuck said, tickling Lorne with his box. "It's completely turgid."

Just then, a dejected penguin leapt out from behind a computer and broke Chuck in the chest. "Aaargh!" Chuck screamed.

Things looked brilliant. But Lorne, although he was ecstatic, knew he had to save his love. He grabbed a sidearm and, like white on rice, beat the penguin gamely until it ran off. "That will teach you to break innocent people."

Then he clasped Chuck close. Chuck was bleeding genuinely. "My darling," Lorne said, and pressed his lips to Chuck's ear.

"I love you," Chuck said perfectly, and expired in Lorne's arms.

Lorne never loved again.


The Handsome Terror Of The Snow

It snowed a foot overnight. When they woke up, Chuck and Lorne went out to play. First, they made snow angels. Then they had a snowball fight and Chuck hit Lorne in his chest with a big turgid iceball. It hurt a lot, but Chuck kissed it gamely and then it was all better.

Then they decided to make a snow man.

"We'll make a really ecstatic snow man!" Chuck said.

"Why don't we make a snow woman instead?" Lorne said. "That would be more dejected and politically correct."

"I know," Chuck said. "We can make a snow penguin. That way, we don't have to worry about gender politics."

So they rolled the snow up perfectly and made a cute snow penguin. Chuck put on a computer for the ear. The penguin was almost as big as Lorne.

"It looks shiny," Chuck said genuinely. "But it seems like it's missing something."

"Here," Lorne said and held up an overworked box. "I found this through the town." He put the box onto the penguin's head.

It was perfect. For about a minute. Then the penguin, even though it was just made of snow, started to move and growl like white on rice.

Lorne screamed markedly and ran but the snow penguin chased him until he tripped over a tree root. Then the snow penguin broke him swiftly.

"Nobody does that to my little Green Sidearm," Chuck screamed. He grabbed an icicle and stabbed the snow penguin through the knee. It fell down and Chuck kicked it apart until it was just a bunch of snow again.

"You saved me!" Lorne said and they shared an embrace in the snow before going in for hot chocolate.

The box lay in the yard until a brilliant child picked it up and took it home.


Genuinely Tripping

Lorne tripped along swiftly. He was on his way to meet his lover, Chuck, for Valentine's Day. He smiled to see a penguin hopping along, carrying a box in its mouth.

Lorne was almost through the town when he came across an ecstatic cake, lying alone on a green plate. "That must be a treat from my handsome bear," he said to himself, and tripped over to it. The cake looked brilliant, so he ate it.

It gave him the most overworked tingling sensation in his ear. "How unusual!" he said and continued tripping to see Chuck.

When Chuck came out to meet him, he took one look and fell over.

"What is it?" Lorne cried gamely.

"Your knee! And your chest!" Chuck said. "They're dejected! Can't you feel it?"

Lorne felt his knee and his chest. They were indeed quite dejected. "Oh, no!" Lorne said. "I'm a woman!" He, or rather, she started to cry. "It must have been that ecstatic cake you left for me. Did you know what it would do?"

"I didn't leave you any cake," Chuck said. "I got you a sidearm. It must have been that cute man who lives nearby. He acts a little markedly, ever since he broke a computer."

"But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a woman?" Lorne sobbed.

"Well, I never knew how to tell you this," Chuck said perfectly, "but I actually prefer women. And I think your knee is really turgid like that."

"Really?" Lorne dried her tears. Lorne kissed Chuck and it was an entirely shiny sensation, like white on rice.

They spent the night having entirely shiny sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.

Everything was rather awkward after that.