Arrogance & Assumption (PG-13)
Dec. 7th, 2006 09:13 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
skidmo_ficTitle: Arrogance & Assumption
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Lorne/McKay, Sheppard/Beckett
Spoilers: Coup d'Etat
Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me...sadly
Feedback: yes, please.
Summary: It is a truth galactically acknowledged that a single flyboy, in possession of the ATA gene, must be in want of a geek.
Author Notes: written for the![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
undermistletoe SGA Holiday challenge, based on Pride and Prejudice. I tried to keep it pretty close to the story, but John Sheppard just doesn't make a very good Jane Bennett, now does he? Also, it's based on the BBC version with 5 hours of Colin Firthy goodness. I just haven't been able to bring myself to watch the Keira Knightley one.
It is a truth galactically acknowledged that a single flyboy, in possession of the ATA gene, must be in want of a geek.
And no geek caused more buzz amongst the Air Force contingency of the Atlantis expedition than one Dr. M. Rodney McKay. McKay’s reputation spread through the ranks of officers faster than the speed of light, which, Dr. McKay would be quick to tell you, is an entirely inappropriate metaphor, because reputations are not visual, and, even if they were, it would be pointless for them to travel faster than the speed of light, because no one would be able to see them. Nevertheless, Major Evan Lorne had not been off the Daedelus for more than an hour before he’d heard of the infamous physicist. Rumors of Dr. McKay had, of course, spread even as far as the SGC, but here in the Pegasus galaxy the rumors were not of the arrogant, rude, incompetent Canadian who had dared to refer to Samantha Carter as a “dumb blonde,” but of a brilliant ( if arrogant), efficient (albeit rude), and reluctantly heroic (though sometimes still incompetent in that department) scientist, who had saved both this galaxy and the Milky Way at least a dozen times since coming to Atlantis.
Evan Lorne, however, not having spent much time as of yet in the Pegasus Galaxy, was not aware of the aforementioned galactically acknowledged truth.
Major Lorne was a bit of an oddity in Atlantis, just as he’d been a bit of an oddity at the SGC.
He was a soldier and a scientist.
At the SGC, he’d worked his ass off to prove that he was more than just a geologist. After the unfortunate incident on P3X-403 in which he had lost his lunch in front of Teal’c and a handful of young lieutenants, he’d realized that the other men in his unit didn’t respect him as an airman. While he had neither the desire nor the ability to hide his geological background (that’s why he’d been hired, after all), he’d undergone all the extra training he could fit into his schedule in order to improve his combat skills. He’d even gone so far as to request help from Colonel Edwards when they were off-world. Eventually, both his CO and the other men in his unit and under his command began to accept him as an efficient and accomplished military commander.
Here in Atlantis, it was a different story.
Because of the international nature of the expedition, there was a pretty strong divide between the military and the scientists. Even those officers who had academic backgrounds were unwilling to admit their fields of interest to the other officers, and to the scientists as well. Col. Sheppard took a perverse sort of pride in pretending he wasn’t a mathematical genius. Lorne simply wasn’t used to hiding his intelligence. But here in Atlantis, he wasn’t a scientist. He was, first and foremost, Sheppard’s 2IC. He didn’t like giving up geology, but he wasn’t about to pass up the opportunity to see another galaxy because he wouldn’t be able to play with his rocks any more.
It was a whole new galaxy, but it still operated by the same familiar rules.
Those who knew the major well would be quick to tell you that he was a rule keeper. He knew where the line was and he toed it very carefully. His hair was always regulation short (how did Sheppard get away with that, anyway?), his boots carefully polished, his salute nice and crisp.
Those who knew the major best would be somewhat more reluctant to admit to you that he was a rule breaker. He knew where the line was and he walked ever so slightly on the wrong side of it. But he was very good, and he never got caught. If you wanted to know which COs were willing to turn a blind eye and which watched their men like the proverbial hawk, Lorne would tell you...for a price.
He was also a smartass. He lived for those moments when he got to put someone in their place. He smirked a little too often, and his favorite pastime was making fun of people who didn’t know they were being made fun of, provided, of course, that there was at least one other person around who did.
In short, he loved hanging out with people like McKay.
People like McKay. Not McKay.
McKay always knew he was being made fun of. He often thought he was even when he wasn’t. He was rarely wrong, so putting him in his place didn’t happen often enough to make up for all the times he tried to put you in your place. And McKay never turned a blind eye unless there was something substantial in it for him.
Definitely not Lorne’s type.
But for all his arrogance and bluster, his hypochondria and paranoia, McKay intrigued the major. Something about the way he crossed his arms before he told you what an idiot you were made Lorne want to be idiotic. Something about the way he snapped his fingers when he was impatient made Lorne want to keep him waiting. And something about the way his mouth tilted downwards at one corner made Lorne want to find out what it would take to straighten it out.
It didn’t help that, one month after the major’s arrival in Atlantis, Lt. Laura Cadman felt obligated to enlighten him regarding a certain galactically acknowledged truth.
Lorne had been having dinner with Col. Sheppard in the mess, when Cadman had asked to join them. Being careful first to ensure that McKay was no where to be found, Sheppard accepted. Looking back, Lorne realized this had been a bad move. After expounding on the geek/flyboy theory for a good ten minutes and discovering that neither the major nor the colonel had, as yet, found a geek of their very own, she proceeded to make helpful suggestions to the colonel, proclaiming it, “a crying shame if someone as hot as you can’t get a little geek action.”
Sheppard stayed long enough for Cadman to remark that things hadn’t worked out between her and Dr. Beckett mostly because, “He’s pretty into cocky colonels with bedhead hair and a penchant for heroics,” before abandoning Lorne to the mercy of the young lieutenant.
“So, major, what do you think of Dr. McKay?”
Lorne groaned around his mouthful of turkey sandwich, and silently cursed Sheppard for leaving him with Atlantis’ own Yenta.
***
He didn’t mean to think about McKay all the time. But the scientist insisted on popping up everywhere Lorne went. It probably had something to do with the fact that Lorne was Sheppard’s 2IC and McKay was Sheppard’s go-to-geek, but Lorne still thought he was completely justified in blaming McKay for the fact that a certain crooked grin was beginning to haunt his dreams.
He felt even more justified when, on his way to the mess for a late Christmas Eve dinner, Lorne heard a familiar voice around the corner.
“Lorne? Seriously? I mean, I suppose he’s all right for a goon, but he’s definitely not up to my standards.”
The major tried not to be offended as he passed in front of Dr. McKay, who had the decency to look slightly uncomfortable as Lorne smirked and tossed him a sarcastic, “Merry Christmas, Doc. Make sure you try the lutefisk.”
After that, McKay seemed to stay pretty far away from Lorne, and Lorne liked it just fine that way.
***
Lorne had decided that he would be perfectly happy if he never spent another non-working moment in McKay’s company for the duration of his time on Atlantis. Fate, karma, the gods or the universe apparently had other plans for him.
He was just heading back to his quarters to shower and change after a particularly grueling mission, when he was stopped by his CO.
The colonel looked vaguely embarrassed as he asked Lorne if he had a minute.
“Sure, Colonel. What’s up?”
Sheppard rubbed the back of his neck with one hand in what Lorne had come to think of as his “aw, shucks” gesture, and, somewhat hesitantly, began, “I have a sort of favor to ask you.”
Lorne cocked one eyebrow suspiciously, “What sort of favor?”
“I was kinda hoping you’d agree to help me out a little?”
Wary of being drawn into some harebrained scheme that was likely to jeopardize his life, or worse, his career, Lorne tilted his head and asked, “With what...sir?”
“Well, remember that thing Cadman said about Beckett and his thing for colonels? I’ve been thinking a lot about it.”
Lorne groaned and silently cursed Cadman’s meddling nature. “And?”
“I wanna have dinner with him, but I don’t want to make it a big deal, like a date, you know? So I thought maybe if you came along, and he brought McKay, and maybe some other scientist or something, we could commandeer that big room on the northeast pier and grab the projector and some food from the mess and make a movie night? I hear Zelenka’s got a copy of Serenity, and I know McKay’s been dying to see that.”
Lorne knew he shouldn’t have capitulated so easily, but Sheppard had all but come out to him, and that wasn’t the sort of trust you wanted to treat lightly. That was how he found himself squished onto a lumpy, threadbare couch with McKay and Dr. Biro (the “other scientist” Beckett had found to keep the evening from seeming too much like a double date). McKay had plopped himself in the middle of the couch as soon as he arrived, but when Dr. Biro sat on his right and Lorne took the seat to his left, McKay had started inching his way towards Lorne, clearly unnerved by the pathologist’s not-so-subtle flirting.
Watching a movie with McKay, Lorne soon found out, was not as unpleasant as might be expected. They hadn’t managed to persuade Zelenka to part with Serenity just yet, so they were stuck watching whatever they could procure at the last minute, which turned out to be A View to a Kill.
Lorne had never been a big fan of James Bond. He’d never really been able to separate the reality of being a military man from the fantasy that allowed 007 to escape from the ridiculous scenarios he always found himself embroiled in. McKay, it seemed, had the same issues with the gadgets Q issued the famous spy. Throughout the film, McKay and Lorne kept up a steady, snarky stream of commentary under their breaths, proving themselves completely incapable of entering into the willing suspension of disbelief necessary to truly enjoy Roger Moore at his best.
When the movie ended, Lorne found himself in the uncomfortable position of being sandwiched between a sleepy scientist and the arm of the couch. The real problem was that, the more Lorne thought about it, the less uncomfortable it seemed. McKay’s bulk was warm and solid, and it had been quite some time since Lorne had traversed to the wrong side of this particular line. Knowing his CO was in no position to call him on it, though, made the major much more open to the possibility.
With anyone but McKay.
When the realization of just whose sleepy form was currently keeping him pinned to the side of the couch hit, Lorne stood up so fast that McKay hit his head on the arm.
“Hey ”
“Sorry, Doc. I, uh, I’ve got somewhere I need to be.”
Still not quite sure why he was so embarrassed, Lorne hustled out of the room without so much as a goodnight to any of its occupants.
***
Lorne figured that after that evening, he’d be left out of his CO’s romantic entanglements. Things seemed to have gone pretty well between Sheppard and Beckett, and it was clear that they were both interested.
At least, it was clear to the major. Beckett was almost as bad as McKay at hiding his emotions, so his interest in the colonel was obvious for anyone to see. Sheppard, on the other hand, was generally a friendly, flirty sort of guy, so if you didn’t know him well, you might just think he was treating Beckett the way he’d treat any of his friends. Lorne knew better though. He’d seen the way the colonel acted around his friends, and this was something deeper.
All signs pointed to the relationship being a go. Lorne figured that Sheppard would be in a pretty good mood for the next few weeks at least.
So when he sulked his way into the conference room for a pre-mission briefing two days later and slumped down into his usual seat without making eye contact with anyone, Lorne was understandably confused.
Hoping he wasn’t opening a can of worms he wouldn’t be able to contain, Lorne stopped the colonel on his way out.
“Everything okay, sir?”
Sheppard didn’t stop, so Lorne jogged a little to catch up.
“Sir?”
“Everything’s fine, major. Shouldn’t you be getting ready for the mission?”
“I’ve been prepped for an hour already. Are you sure you’re okay? As your second in command, it’s my duty to ensure that you’re fit for duty before you step through the gate.”
That brought Sheppard up short. He pivoted on his heel and took a deep breath, clearly trying to calm himself down. “I’m fine, major. It’s a personal issue. I promise it won’t affect the mission.”
“If you say so, sir. Maybe you oughta see Dr. Beckett before we leave, just to be sure.”
Sheppard mumbled something that sounded like, “I would if I could, Major.”
“What was that, sir?”
“I said, I would if I could, Major.” Sheppard articulated every word petulantly, the stubborn tilt of his chin momentarily reminding Lorne of Dr. McKay.
“You sure you don’t want to talk about it?”
Sheppard put his hands defiantly on his hips and said, “Yes, Major, I’m sure. But since you’re clearly unwilling to let this thing drop, I’ll tell you what happened. Carson has inexplicably decided he no longer wants to see me. At all. For anything. Every time I try to talk to him, he’s mysteriously disappeared or otherwise unavailable. Yesterday he volunteered for a flight to the mainland.” When the major didn’t look surprised by this revelation, Sheppard added, “Carson hates flying.”
“Ah,” said Lorne, “I see.”
“Now, if you’ll excuse me, Major, I have to prep for this mission. Some of us didn’t quite cut it as Boy Scouts.”
Lorne shook his head, wondering if miscommunication was a universal constant or just a galactic one.
***
It was a few weeks later that Lorne found out what had really happened to make the doctor so reluctant to see Sheppard.
He was escorting a group of scientists, led by Dr. Zelenka, who was as nervous as ever to be going off-world, to P5X-288 to carry out some research on an Ancient outpost there.
The ruins they were studying were about 5 miles from the stargate, but there was nowhere nearby to land a puddlejumper, so they had to trudge through the forest for about 90 minutes before they reached their destination. On the way, Lorne and Zelenka indulged in a steady banter, teasing and mocking each other in such a way that, if Lorne didn’t know better, he would have called flirting. Zelenka had a quick wit, and he never let his ribbing go beyond the friendly, polite joking of two friends, or perhaps slightly more than friends. He was a gentleman in every respect, and actually quite cute in a distracted, intellectual sort of way. Lorne thoroughly enjoyed his easy smile and laughing eyes.
They spent three days at the ruins, and, beyond casually setting up a security system and using his gene to turn on various artifacts, Lorne had little to do and spent most of his time getting to know Zelenka a little better. The engineer was everything good about McKay and the opposite of everything bad about him.
One of the other scientists on the mission was Dr. Kusanagi, whom Zelenka seemed to think was his special charge. The timid Japanese woman did her work conscientiously and extremely efficiently, but she jumped if someone spoke to loudly around her, and she kept a furtive eye on Dr. Kavanaugh throughout their time at the outpost.
Dr. Zelenka always approached her quietly, as one would a skittish colt, and he seemed to take special care to assign her to projects as far away from Dr. Kavanaugh as possible. When Lorne questioned him about this, Zelenka told him that Dr. Kavanaugh had once feigned a romantic interest in Dr. Kusanagi in an attempt to gain a position on a coveted project. When he learned that she was unable to help him, he abandoned her, breaking her heart and shattering her confidence. Now almost all of the science staff was careful to protect her from anything that might remind her of the unfortunate incident.
By the time they were packing up to head back to Atlantis, Lorne began to thing that maybe Cadman was right. Maybe he did need a geek of his own. He could certainly think of less pleasing ones than Zelenka.
On the way back to the gate after the third day, Lorne said to the Czech, “You know, Doc, you’re not too bad for a scientist. Even if you do come with high praise from Dr. McKay.”
The smaller man looked slightly taken aback by Lorne’s roundabout compliment. “Rodney speaks very highly of you as well, Major. However, if you will promise not to hold his compliments against me, I will do the same for you. I know he can be a bit difficult at times. But he really is a good friend to have.”
Lorne raised his eyebrows skeptically, and Zelenka continued, “For instance, did you know that Rodney recently saved Dr. Beckett from an unfortunate romantic entanglement?”
The major raised just one eyebrow this time. “Really? It seems like that’s a decision the doctor could have made on his own. What made McKay think he had the right to step in?”
“Well, I’m not entirely sure of the situation, but it seems the man was entirely inappropriate for Carson, and Rodney felt obligated to intervene. That is the sort of friend you would like to have, yes?”
Lorne was saved from answering by a call on his radio. It really was too bad. He’d been starting to warm up to the idea of having a geek like Zelenka in his life.
***
Later that evening, after sitting through a tedious debriefing and having a routine post-mission physical, Major Lorne was just falling asleep when he was awoken by a knock on his door. He stumbled out of bed and bumped his shin on his desk on his way to answering.
He couldn’t honestly say that Rodney McKay was the last person he expected to see outside his quarters at 0100. That distinction would probably be given to one of the 6 billion or so people still on earth. But he was extremely surprised to see the astrophysicist standing with his arms crossed, beating a tattoo on his biceps with the fingers of either hand.
“Well, aren’t you going to ask me in?”
Lorne, still dressed only in the boxers he wore to bed, walked away from the door back into his room, but he didn’t close it behind him, which McKay took as invitation enough. Excruciatingly aware of his current state of undress, the major was about to grab the first shirt he could lay his hands on when McKay said, “Would you, um, would you mind putting some clothes on?”
The major turned to look at him, noticing that McKay seemed acutely uncomfortable, his eyes darting between Lorne’s face and his bare chest. Lorne considered refusing, just to see the bastard sweat, but in the end he grabbed a crumpled Air Force t-shirt and pulled it over his head. He still hadn’t spoken to McKay at all.
He sat on his bed and motioned for McKay to take the chair.
“No thanks. I think I prefer to stand just now.”
Lorne just looked at him.
McKay cleared his throat. “Uh, right. Well, I guess you’re wondering why I’m here, right?”
Still saying nothing, Lorne gave McKay a look that as good as said no shit, Sherlock.
McKay went on, “Right, well...um...there’s something I need to tell you.” He sat down and looked Lorne straight in the eyes for about thirty seconds. The major, still trying to be stoic, was nevertheless unable to hold his gaze. McKay stood back up and began to pace clockwise. “So, this thing I need to tell you,” he went on, hands gesticulating wildly. “It’s kind of hard for me to say. You’d think it would be pretty easy for me to find the words. I mean, I can discourse on quantum mechanics for pages on end, it shouldn’t be so difficult for me to say this, right? I mean, I’m a genius, but they just don’t cover some things in genius school. Right, well, I guess the best thing is to just say it. I like you, major. Really like you.” He stopped for a moment, face scrunched in thought, then began pacing the other direction. “That’s not quite right. I...I think...that is...I mean I’m pretty sure...I think I might love you. I tried not to. I mean it’s completely inappropriate. You’re a grunt for godsakes, and look at me, I’m a genius. Plus, you’ve got that whole military mindset, and, yeah, you’ve got your masters, but it’s in geology. Geology. Who decides they want to study rocks for a living anyway? But that’s not the point. The point is, I think I love you.”
McKay stopped pacing and stood with his hands on his hips, looking expectantly at Lorne.
“So what do you want? A lollipop?”
McKay’s face fell. He was clearly devastated, but Lorne just kept going. He’d been building up steam for weeks and now he finally had the chance to let it all out.
“You’re a real bastard, you know that? You come in here and tell me all the reasons you shouldn’t like me, and then what? You want me to fall into your arms and declare my undying love?”
McKay drew himself up to his full height and stuck his chin out defiantly. “Look, I’m not good with emotions okay? Would you rather I had lied and said that I loved you blindly. That I never took your career or your education into account? That I don’t care that you get paid to run around with guns while the rest of us do the real work? Well, I’m sorry, Major. I can’t lie to you.”
“I don’t think you quite understand, McKay. The fact that you’re a bastard just makes it easier for me to say what I’ve got to say. From the moment we met you’ve made it perfectly clear that you consider me to be beneath you. You think I’m a stupid meathead who couldn’t cut it in the hard sciences.”
McKay spluttered, obviously ready to defend himself, but Lorne didn’t give him the chance. “But even if that weren’t true. Even if you’d been a decent human being to everyone on this base, I would still have turned you down. You stuck your nose in where it didn’t belong and you ruined any chance Sheppard might have had with Dr. Beckett. He’s your friend, McKay. How on earth do you justify that to yourself?”
McKay opened his mouth to respond, but Lorne cut him off, “No. I don’t want to know. Just get out already. I’ve wasted enough time on you tonight.”
A deep crimson blush flooded McKay’s face, but he spun on his heel and stormed out of Lorne’s room with all the dignity he could muster. Lorne called after him, “And I’m not a grunt, I’m a flyboy ” and thought the door closed behind him, wishing that, just this once, it would give thesatisfying slam of a good, earth-style, wooden door.
***
The next day, when Lorne turned on his laptop to work on writing up the report for his latest mission, he noticed he had an email from McKay. It had been sent that morning at 0430, and was long enough that Lorne was almost certain McKay had stayed up all night writing it.
His first impulse was to delete it without a second thought, but, in the end, he decided to give himself a few moments to cool down before reading it, so he poured himself a cup of coffee and prepared himself to be as understanding as possible under the circumstances.
To: Major Evan Lorne, USAF
From: Dr. M. Rodney McKay, civ., Can.
Major Lorne,
I didn’t trust myself to say all that needed to be said last night without losing my temper and ruining the vindicating effect I hope the information I’m about to convey will have. I assure you that I will not repeat any of what I said last night.
Regarding your accusation that I deliberately interfered in the relationship of Col. Sheppard and Dr. Beckett with the express purpose of separating the two of them, I have no desire to refute this. It is entirely true. I hope you will allow me to explain my reasons for doing so.
First, I have long been of the opinion that any romantic relationships between the science staff and the military contingent should be avoided at all costs. The two disciplines are completely unsuited for one another. Whatever you may think of me, I do care about the emotional well-being of every person on my staff. Entering into a romantic relationship with a soldier can only cause unnecessary stress and emotional discomfort to those not used to living in mortal danger.
Second, in the specific case of Dr. Beckett and Col. Sheppard, I thought this general rule to be particularly useful. Dr. Beckett, in particular, is prone to worry about all of his patients, and deepening the bond between himself and Col. Sheppard would seriously have hindered his ability to perform his duties every time our team went through the gate. It’s no secret that Col. Sheppard is one of the most foolishly heroic members of this expedition and routinely puts himself in danger without regard for personal safety. I am sure you read the mission reports from the incident on P4X - 292 (commonly referred to as Hoff). The loss of the Hoffan scientist Perna had a devastating effect on Dr. Beckett, and I have no desire to see him suffer through another experience like that one.
Third, with regard to your question of my actions and their effect on my friend Col. Sheppard, I felt no guilt. Col. Sheppard is well known for his tendency to flirt with no serious interest in the object of his flirtation. I was, and am, of the opinion that Col. Sheppard did not take the relationship as seriously as Dr. Beckett was beginning to. He showed no signs that his feelings for Dr. Beckett were any more intense than his feelings for any of the impressive number of scientists, soldiers and Pegasus Galaxy natives with whom he has engaged in flirtations since our arrival here.
The only part of my conduct that I feel may be reprehensible is that I did not tell Dr. Beckett that Col. Sheppard came looking for him after Dr. Beckett broke off relations.
I hope these explanations have acquitted my actions in your sight. I trust that we will be able to work together in the future without incident.
Sincerely,
Dr. M. Rodney Mckay, civ., Can.
Sighing, Lorne closed his laptop and shook his head. Obviously, McKay was much better at expressing himself when faced with an inanimate object such as a computer screen rather than an actual human being. Lorne still didn’t approve of McKay’s actions, and he certainly didn’t think any better of him as a person, but he was willing to admit that his motives, at least, had been pure. McKay was still a proud and self-important ass, but Lorne resolved from that day to make no more judgments on his character without empirical proof.
***
Lorne knew that he would eventually have to see McKay again, he just hoped it would be a long time in the future. His hope, sadly, proved to be in vain. Major Fitzwilliam’s team had brought back some highly unusual soil and rock samples from P4X-953, and Dr. Weir asked him to lend his geological expertise in the labs.
Dr. McKay was scheduled to be on the mainland on Lorne’s first day in the lab, and he was grateful for that small mercy.
The universe, it seemed, held his thanks in low regard, because he’d only been analyzing the first soil sample for about fifteen minutes when he heard a familiar, irritated voice saying, “Did I ask you to recalibrate my life signs detector?”
Lorne couldn’t hear the response, but he didn’t need to. McKay was on the warpath, and only his side of the conversation mattered at this point.
“So what on earth made you think it would be a good idea, hm? It’s not like these things grow on trees, you know. I’m confiscating yours. You can use the broken one until you figure out what you did to it. Until then I’m pulling you off all your other projects. If you have time to break valuable equipment, you most certainly have time to....” McKay’s diatribe ended abruptly when he caught sight of Major Lorne. “Er...run along now, and try not to break anything.” His voice was much less strident than it had been as he waved the unfortunate scientist away with a vague gesture of his hand.
Lorne had been trying not to look like he’d been eavesdropping, but eventually he gave up, deciding that if McKay were concerned about people listening in, he should have kept his voice down.
McKay, for his part, regained his composure startlingly quickly, and walked serenely over to the major. “Major Lorne, uh...what brings you to the labs?”
“Dr. Weir wanted me to take a look at these samples from P4X-953.”
“Oh...of course...um...how’s that going?”
If Lorne hadn’t felt so uncomfortable himself, he would’ve felt sorry for McKay, seeing him in this state. “Um...I just got started. I haven’t really accomplished anything yet. Uh, aren’t you supposed to be on the mainland?”
“What? Oh, right. Yeah, actually. But I came back early to check on some of Zelenka’s projects. I’ll, uh, let you get on with your analysis then. Um...good luck.” McKay gave Lorne a little wave and shuffled off to another area of the labs.
Several hours later, Lorne was making great headway on one of the rock samples. It seemed to have many of the same properties as trinium. If they could work out a way to refine it properly, it could help them immensely in their fight with the Wraith, maybe even help the SGC against the Ori.
He was completely absorbed in his project when he heard a soft cough behind him. He turned to see McKay standing in the doorway, and, looking around, realized he was the only one still in the lab.
“Making any progress?”
“Yeah. This could be some pretty important stuff. It’s like trinium, only...”
McKay cut him off with an impatient wave of his hand. “Listen, I’d really like to hear about it, but would you mind telling me over dinner? If we don’t leave soon, they’ll be out of blue jell-o.”
Lorne looked at his watch and saw that it was about an hour later than he usually had dinner. “Man, I didn’t realize it was so late. Dinner sounds great.” They both laughed as this statement was punctuated by a loud rumble from Lorne’s stomach.
“Great. Good. Miko’s saving us seats, let’s get going.”
“Miko?”
“Dr. Kusanagi. I hope you don’t mind. She really wanted to meet you.”
“Oh, um, okay.” The major was a bit surprised by this information, but he kept silent as he followed McKay to the mess.
***
Dr. Kusanagi had saved them seats at a table full of scientists, and there was a lively stream of chatter already by the time they sat down.
Dr. McKay was in his element here. He joined each conversation in turn, contributing to all and never confusing one with another. Lorne was amazed that he could follow that much technobabble at once. Dr. Kusanagi sat silently for the most part, only occasionally speaking up to make polite inquiries to the major about his current project and some of his recent missions.
Major Lorne was trying to keep up with the conversation to his immediate left, which seemed to concern a theory that the transporter technology could be adjusted to be used as replicators (the Star Trek kind, not the real ones). It was only a lucky chance that he picked up a snippet from the conversation to his right.
“Did you hear that Kavanaugh tried to hit on Simpson?”
There was a quiet gasp on Lorne’s right, and the major could feel Dr. Kusanagi stiffening. McKay looked up sharply, casting Miko a worried glance.
Remembering what Zelenka had told him about the history between Drs. Kavanaugh and Kusanagi, Lorne picked up the slack, “So, Dr. Kusanagi, McKay tells me you’ve got a theory about the soil sample from P4X-953.”
As Miko launched timidly into an explanation of her ideas about one of the trace minerals in the soil, Lorne shot McKay a sideways look, only to find the man gazing at him with obvious gratitude and a hint of something else. Affection?.
***
The next morning, Lorne was getting ready for his weekly visit to M9G-283, when he heard the door chime. He thought it open and called out, “Come in,” while he continued rummaging through his sock drawer for his good luck charm.
“Um...is this a bad time?”
Lorne looked up to see McKay standing nervously in the doorframe.
“Uh, yeah. Yeah it kind of is.”
“Is there anything I can help you with?”
“No. I’m just looking for my good luck charm. I’m scheduled to go off-world in about,” Lorne glanced at his watch, “fifteen minutes.”
“Oh, well, can I help you look?”
“Nah, I better get going. Don’t want to keep my team waiting. Did you want to see me about something?”
“Er...I was going to ask if you wanted to have lunch with Miko and I today, but I guess you’re busy.”
“Yeah, sorry.”
“No problem. Um...Maybe you left your charm thingy in the labs? I’ll keep an eye out for it. What’s it look like?”
“It’s a saint’s medallion.”
“Really?” The disdain in McKay’s voice was practically palpable.
Lorne crossed his arms. “Yeah, really. My grandma gave it to me when I joined the Academy.”
McKay looked sheepishly at him, “Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean...I’ll check at your station.”
Lorne smiled at him and patted him on the shoulder as he bounded down the hallway, calling over his shoulder, “Thanks, McKay.”
***
Days later, when the news had come back that Lorne and most of his team had been killed, Col. Sheppard found Dr. McKay sitting at Lorne’s desk in the labs. He was holding something tightly in his right hand, a delicate silver chain was just visible, dangling from McKay’s clenched fist.
“Hey, Rodney. You okay?”
“Dominic de Guzman.”
“What?”
“Lorne’s good luck charm. He couldn’t find it before he left on that mission. I told him I’d look for it. It’s a saint’s medallion. St. Dominic de Guzman.”
“I’m guessing there’s some significance here that I’m missing.” As he spoke, Sheppard placed a hand on his friend’s shoulder, knowing Rodney needed something to ground him.
“Dominic de Guzman is the patron saint of astronomers and scientists.”
“And you think that this has special meaning somehow. Like maybe if you’d found it sooner, none of this would have happened.”
Even in his current state of distress, Rodney managed to look condescending. “Please, Colonel. Like this little piece of metal could have stopped....” He trailed off, unable to give voice to the terrible tragedy that had occurred.
“It’s okay, Rodney. It’s not your fault.” Sheppard patted him awkwardly on the back, wishing he knew the right words to say to fix Rodney. He wasn’t used to seeing the man so...emotional.
“I just...I just can’t believe he’s gone. He’s gone, and I never really knew him at all.”
Sheppard didn’t know what to say so he just repeated, “It’s not your fault.”
“No. But something else is.” Without any explanation, Rodney jumped up and ran out of the labs.
***
“He came looking for me? And you didnae see fit to tell me?” Carson’s brogue was always stronger when he was upset, and this was no exception.
“Yes and yes and I’m sorry. I think you’ve really got a chance with Sheppard. You should definitely try again.”
“Why are you telling me this now?”
“Sometimes it takes something drastic to show you what’s really important.”
“What?”
“I was wrong, okay?”
***
When the whole fiasco was over, and everyone had been brought back to Atlantis safely, McKay stayed away from the major. Lorne figured it was because he’d proven his theories right. The day he’d left on the ill-fated mission, he’d been nearly certain McKay was going to ask him out again. What surprised him more than that was that he wanted McKay to ask him. Now he’d gone and gotten himself captured and given McKay one more reason why soldiers and scientists just didn’t belong together.
Lorne thought that the universe must really, really hate him. Just when he was realizing how much he cared for McKay, something happened to separate them even more. The only contact he’d had with McKay since he got back was a note taped to his computer next to his good luck charm, saying, “Don’t lose it again - McKay.”
The only comfort in never having to see McKay was that it made it easier for Lorne to pretend he was over the snarky physicist.
But, of course, the universe was having none of that. Sheppard and Beckett had finally gotten together, but, because of the delicate position that put the colonel in, it was necessary for them to spend as little time alone together as possible. This led to Lorne and McKay being dragged along as chaperones.
The third time they ended up walking fifteen feet behind the happy couple towards a deserted balcony on the Northeast pier, Lorne tugged McKay into a small alcove and said, “I...I wanted to thank you.”
McKay’s brow furrowed in confusion. “For what?”
“Well, for finding my medallion first of all, but mostly for helping to rescue my team.”
McKay snorted. “Don’t thank me for that. I didn’t do anything for them. You were the only one I was thinking of.”
Lorne stared at him in shock.
McKay continued, “Look, if you still feel the same way you did before, just tell me, okay? I can take it. I just can’t take not knowing. I’m still in...I still love you.” He looked down at his feet in embarrassment.
Lorne placed a hand under his chin and tilted his face up until they were eye to eye. “I’m so sorry for what I said then. I think...I think I...I love you, too, McKay.”
McKay smiled a little, “Rodney.”
“Evan.”
Rodney grinned now, “Evan?”
“Yeah?”
“Quit smirking and kiss me already.”
So he quit being idiotic, and he stopped keeping the good doctor waiting. It was time to finally find out what it took to straighten out that crooked mouth.
***
Three days later, the two of them lay in McKay’s bed sweaty and sated.
Rodney looked at Evan and said, “I never would have guessed that a grunt would be so creative.”
“Who would have thought that a nerd would be so talented with his mouth?”
“I am not a nerd. I’m a geek.”
“And I’m a flyboy.”
fin
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Lorne/McKay, Sheppard/Beckett
Spoilers: Coup d'Etat
Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me...sadly
Feedback: yes, please.
Summary: It is a truth galactically acknowledged that a single flyboy, in possession of the ATA gene, must be in want of a geek.
Author Notes: written for the
undermistletoe SGA Holiday challenge, based on Pride and Prejudice. I tried to keep it pretty close to the story, but John Sheppard just doesn't make a very good Jane Bennett, now does he? Also, it's based on the BBC version with 5 hours of Colin Firthy goodness. I just haven't been able to bring myself to watch the Keira Knightley one.It is a truth galactically acknowledged that a single flyboy, in possession of the ATA gene, must be in want of a geek.
And no geek caused more buzz amongst the Air Force contingency of the Atlantis expedition than one Dr. M. Rodney McKay. McKay’s reputation spread through the ranks of officers faster than the speed of light, which, Dr. McKay would be quick to tell you, is an entirely inappropriate metaphor, because reputations are not visual, and, even if they were, it would be pointless for them to travel faster than the speed of light, because no one would be able to see them. Nevertheless, Major Evan Lorne had not been off the Daedelus for more than an hour before he’d heard of the infamous physicist. Rumors of Dr. McKay had, of course, spread even as far as the SGC, but here in the Pegasus galaxy the rumors were not of the arrogant, rude, incompetent Canadian who had dared to refer to Samantha Carter as a “dumb blonde,” but of a brilliant ( if arrogant), efficient (albeit rude), and reluctantly heroic (though sometimes still incompetent in that department) scientist, who had saved both this galaxy and the Milky Way at least a dozen times since coming to Atlantis.
Evan Lorne, however, not having spent much time as of yet in the Pegasus Galaxy, was not aware of the aforementioned galactically acknowledged truth.
Major Lorne was a bit of an oddity in Atlantis, just as he’d been a bit of an oddity at the SGC.
He was a soldier and a scientist.
At the SGC, he’d worked his ass off to prove that he was more than just a geologist. After the unfortunate incident on P3X-403 in which he had lost his lunch in front of Teal’c and a handful of young lieutenants, he’d realized that the other men in his unit didn’t respect him as an airman. While he had neither the desire nor the ability to hide his geological background (that’s why he’d been hired, after all), he’d undergone all the extra training he could fit into his schedule in order to improve his combat skills. He’d even gone so far as to request help from Colonel Edwards when they were off-world. Eventually, both his CO and the other men in his unit and under his command began to accept him as an efficient and accomplished military commander.
Here in Atlantis, it was a different story.
Because of the international nature of the expedition, there was a pretty strong divide between the military and the scientists. Even those officers who had academic backgrounds were unwilling to admit their fields of interest to the other officers, and to the scientists as well. Col. Sheppard took a perverse sort of pride in pretending he wasn’t a mathematical genius. Lorne simply wasn’t used to hiding his intelligence. But here in Atlantis, he wasn’t a scientist. He was, first and foremost, Sheppard’s 2IC. He didn’t like giving up geology, but he wasn’t about to pass up the opportunity to see another galaxy because he wouldn’t be able to play with his rocks any more.
It was a whole new galaxy, but it still operated by the same familiar rules.
Those who knew the major well would be quick to tell you that he was a rule keeper. He knew where the line was and he toed it very carefully. His hair was always regulation short (how did Sheppard get away with that, anyway?), his boots carefully polished, his salute nice and crisp.
Those who knew the major best would be somewhat more reluctant to admit to you that he was a rule breaker. He knew where the line was and he walked ever so slightly on the wrong side of it. But he was very good, and he never got caught. If you wanted to know which COs were willing to turn a blind eye and which watched their men like the proverbial hawk, Lorne would tell you...for a price.
He was also a smartass. He lived for those moments when he got to put someone in their place. He smirked a little too often, and his favorite pastime was making fun of people who didn’t know they were being made fun of, provided, of course, that there was at least one other person around who did.
In short, he loved hanging out with people like McKay.
People like McKay. Not McKay.
McKay always knew he was being made fun of. He often thought he was even when he wasn’t. He was rarely wrong, so putting him in his place didn’t happen often enough to make up for all the times he tried to put you in your place. And McKay never turned a blind eye unless there was something substantial in it for him.
Definitely not Lorne’s type.
But for all his arrogance and bluster, his hypochondria and paranoia, McKay intrigued the major. Something about the way he crossed his arms before he told you what an idiot you were made Lorne want to be idiotic. Something about the way he snapped his fingers when he was impatient made Lorne want to keep him waiting. And something about the way his mouth tilted downwards at one corner made Lorne want to find out what it would take to straighten it out.
It didn’t help that, one month after the major’s arrival in Atlantis, Lt. Laura Cadman felt obligated to enlighten him regarding a certain galactically acknowledged truth.
Lorne had been having dinner with Col. Sheppard in the mess, when Cadman had asked to join them. Being careful first to ensure that McKay was no where to be found, Sheppard accepted. Looking back, Lorne realized this had been a bad move. After expounding on the geek/flyboy theory for a good ten minutes and discovering that neither the major nor the colonel had, as yet, found a geek of their very own, she proceeded to make helpful suggestions to the colonel, proclaiming it, “a crying shame if someone as hot as you can’t get a little geek action.”
Sheppard stayed long enough for Cadman to remark that things hadn’t worked out between her and Dr. Beckett mostly because, “He’s pretty into cocky colonels with bedhead hair and a penchant for heroics,” before abandoning Lorne to the mercy of the young lieutenant.
“So, major, what do you think of Dr. McKay?”
Lorne groaned around his mouthful of turkey sandwich, and silently cursed Sheppard for leaving him with Atlantis’ own Yenta.
***
He didn’t mean to think about McKay all the time. But the scientist insisted on popping up everywhere Lorne went. It probably had something to do with the fact that Lorne was Sheppard’s 2IC and McKay was Sheppard’s go-to-geek, but Lorne still thought he was completely justified in blaming McKay for the fact that a certain crooked grin was beginning to haunt his dreams.
He felt even more justified when, on his way to the mess for a late Christmas Eve dinner, Lorne heard a familiar voice around the corner.
“Lorne? Seriously? I mean, I suppose he’s all right for a goon, but he’s definitely not up to my standards.”
The major tried not to be offended as he passed in front of Dr. McKay, who had the decency to look slightly uncomfortable as Lorne smirked and tossed him a sarcastic, “Merry Christmas, Doc. Make sure you try the lutefisk.”
After that, McKay seemed to stay pretty far away from Lorne, and Lorne liked it just fine that way.
***
Lorne had decided that he would be perfectly happy if he never spent another non-working moment in McKay’s company for the duration of his time on Atlantis. Fate, karma, the gods or the universe apparently had other plans for him.
He was just heading back to his quarters to shower and change after a particularly grueling mission, when he was stopped by his CO.
The colonel looked vaguely embarrassed as he asked Lorne if he had a minute.
“Sure, Colonel. What’s up?”
Sheppard rubbed the back of his neck with one hand in what Lorne had come to think of as his “aw, shucks” gesture, and, somewhat hesitantly, began, “I have a sort of favor to ask you.”
Lorne cocked one eyebrow suspiciously, “What sort of favor?”
“I was kinda hoping you’d agree to help me out a little?”
Wary of being drawn into some harebrained scheme that was likely to jeopardize his life, or worse, his career, Lorne tilted his head and asked, “With what...sir?”
“Well, remember that thing Cadman said about Beckett and his thing for colonels? I’ve been thinking a lot about it.”
Lorne groaned and silently cursed Cadman’s meddling nature. “And?”
“I wanna have dinner with him, but I don’t want to make it a big deal, like a date, you know? So I thought maybe if you came along, and he brought McKay, and maybe some other scientist or something, we could commandeer that big room on the northeast pier and grab the projector and some food from the mess and make a movie night? I hear Zelenka’s got a copy of Serenity, and I know McKay’s been dying to see that.”
Lorne knew he shouldn’t have capitulated so easily, but Sheppard had all but come out to him, and that wasn’t the sort of trust you wanted to treat lightly. That was how he found himself squished onto a lumpy, threadbare couch with McKay and Dr. Biro (the “other scientist” Beckett had found to keep the evening from seeming too much like a double date). McKay had plopped himself in the middle of the couch as soon as he arrived, but when Dr. Biro sat on his right and Lorne took the seat to his left, McKay had started inching his way towards Lorne, clearly unnerved by the pathologist’s not-so-subtle flirting.
Watching a movie with McKay, Lorne soon found out, was not as unpleasant as might be expected. They hadn’t managed to persuade Zelenka to part with Serenity just yet, so they were stuck watching whatever they could procure at the last minute, which turned out to be A View to a Kill.
Lorne had never been a big fan of James Bond. He’d never really been able to separate the reality of being a military man from the fantasy that allowed 007 to escape from the ridiculous scenarios he always found himself embroiled in. McKay, it seemed, had the same issues with the gadgets Q issued the famous spy. Throughout the film, McKay and Lorne kept up a steady, snarky stream of commentary under their breaths, proving themselves completely incapable of entering into the willing suspension of disbelief necessary to truly enjoy Roger Moore at his best.
When the movie ended, Lorne found himself in the uncomfortable position of being sandwiched between a sleepy scientist and the arm of the couch. The real problem was that, the more Lorne thought about it, the less uncomfortable it seemed. McKay’s bulk was warm and solid, and it had been quite some time since Lorne had traversed to the wrong side of this particular line. Knowing his CO was in no position to call him on it, though, made the major much more open to the possibility.
With anyone but McKay.
When the realization of just whose sleepy form was currently keeping him pinned to the side of the couch hit, Lorne stood up so fast that McKay hit his head on the arm.
“Hey ”
“Sorry, Doc. I, uh, I’ve got somewhere I need to be.”
Still not quite sure why he was so embarrassed, Lorne hustled out of the room without so much as a goodnight to any of its occupants.
***
Lorne figured that after that evening, he’d be left out of his CO’s romantic entanglements. Things seemed to have gone pretty well between Sheppard and Beckett, and it was clear that they were both interested.
At least, it was clear to the major. Beckett was almost as bad as McKay at hiding his emotions, so his interest in the colonel was obvious for anyone to see. Sheppard, on the other hand, was generally a friendly, flirty sort of guy, so if you didn’t know him well, you might just think he was treating Beckett the way he’d treat any of his friends. Lorne knew better though. He’d seen the way the colonel acted around his friends, and this was something deeper.
All signs pointed to the relationship being a go. Lorne figured that Sheppard would be in a pretty good mood for the next few weeks at least.
So when he sulked his way into the conference room for a pre-mission briefing two days later and slumped down into his usual seat without making eye contact with anyone, Lorne was understandably confused.
Hoping he wasn’t opening a can of worms he wouldn’t be able to contain, Lorne stopped the colonel on his way out.
“Everything okay, sir?”
Sheppard didn’t stop, so Lorne jogged a little to catch up.
“Sir?”
“Everything’s fine, major. Shouldn’t you be getting ready for the mission?”
“I’ve been prepped for an hour already. Are you sure you’re okay? As your second in command, it’s my duty to ensure that you’re fit for duty before you step through the gate.”
That brought Sheppard up short. He pivoted on his heel and took a deep breath, clearly trying to calm himself down. “I’m fine, major. It’s a personal issue. I promise it won’t affect the mission.”
“If you say so, sir. Maybe you oughta see Dr. Beckett before we leave, just to be sure.”
Sheppard mumbled something that sounded like, “I would if I could, Major.”
“What was that, sir?”
“I said, I would if I could, Major.” Sheppard articulated every word petulantly, the stubborn tilt of his chin momentarily reminding Lorne of Dr. McKay.
“You sure you don’t want to talk about it?”
Sheppard put his hands defiantly on his hips and said, “Yes, Major, I’m sure. But since you’re clearly unwilling to let this thing drop, I’ll tell you what happened. Carson has inexplicably decided he no longer wants to see me. At all. For anything. Every time I try to talk to him, he’s mysteriously disappeared or otherwise unavailable. Yesterday he volunteered for a flight to the mainland.” When the major didn’t look surprised by this revelation, Sheppard added, “Carson hates flying.”
“Ah,” said Lorne, “I see.”
“Now, if you’ll excuse me, Major, I have to prep for this mission. Some of us didn’t quite cut it as Boy Scouts.”
Lorne shook his head, wondering if miscommunication was a universal constant or just a galactic one.
***
It was a few weeks later that Lorne found out what had really happened to make the doctor so reluctant to see Sheppard.
He was escorting a group of scientists, led by Dr. Zelenka, who was as nervous as ever to be going off-world, to P5X-288 to carry out some research on an Ancient outpost there.
The ruins they were studying were about 5 miles from the stargate, but there was nowhere nearby to land a puddlejumper, so they had to trudge through the forest for about 90 minutes before they reached their destination. On the way, Lorne and Zelenka indulged in a steady banter, teasing and mocking each other in such a way that, if Lorne didn’t know better, he would have called flirting. Zelenka had a quick wit, and he never let his ribbing go beyond the friendly, polite joking of two friends, or perhaps slightly more than friends. He was a gentleman in every respect, and actually quite cute in a distracted, intellectual sort of way. Lorne thoroughly enjoyed his easy smile and laughing eyes.
They spent three days at the ruins, and, beyond casually setting up a security system and using his gene to turn on various artifacts, Lorne had little to do and spent most of his time getting to know Zelenka a little better. The engineer was everything good about McKay and the opposite of everything bad about him.
One of the other scientists on the mission was Dr. Kusanagi, whom Zelenka seemed to think was his special charge. The timid Japanese woman did her work conscientiously and extremely efficiently, but she jumped if someone spoke to loudly around her, and she kept a furtive eye on Dr. Kavanaugh throughout their time at the outpost.
Dr. Zelenka always approached her quietly, as one would a skittish colt, and he seemed to take special care to assign her to projects as far away from Dr. Kavanaugh as possible. When Lorne questioned him about this, Zelenka told him that Dr. Kavanaugh had once feigned a romantic interest in Dr. Kusanagi in an attempt to gain a position on a coveted project. When he learned that she was unable to help him, he abandoned her, breaking her heart and shattering her confidence. Now almost all of the science staff was careful to protect her from anything that might remind her of the unfortunate incident.
By the time they were packing up to head back to Atlantis, Lorne began to thing that maybe Cadman was right. Maybe he did need a geek of his own. He could certainly think of less pleasing ones than Zelenka.
On the way back to the gate after the third day, Lorne said to the Czech, “You know, Doc, you’re not too bad for a scientist. Even if you do come with high praise from Dr. McKay.”
The smaller man looked slightly taken aback by Lorne’s roundabout compliment. “Rodney speaks very highly of you as well, Major. However, if you will promise not to hold his compliments against me, I will do the same for you. I know he can be a bit difficult at times. But he really is a good friend to have.”
Lorne raised his eyebrows skeptically, and Zelenka continued, “For instance, did you know that Rodney recently saved Dr. Beckett from an unfortunate romantic entanglement?”
The major raised just one eyebrow this time. “Really? It seems like that’s a decision the doctor could have made on his own. What made McKay think he had the right to step in?”
“Well, I’m not entirely sure of the situation, but it seems the man was entirely inappropriate for Carson, and Rodney felt obligated to intervene. That is the sort of friend you would like to have, yes?”
Lorne was saved from answering by a call on his radio. It really was too bad. He’d been starting to warm up to the idea of having a geek like Zelenka in his life.
***
Later that evening, after sitting through a tedious debriefing and having a routine post-mission physical, Major Lorne was just falling asleep when he was awoken by a knock on his door. He stumbled out of bed and bumped his shin on his desk on his way to answering.
He couldn’t honestly say that Rodney McKay was the last person he expected to see outside his quarters at 0100. That distinction would probably be given to one of the 6 billion or so people still on earth. But he was extremely surprised to see the astrophysicist standing with his arms crossed, beating a tattoo on his biceps with the fingers of either hand.
“Well, aren’t you going to ask me in?”
Lorne, still dressed only in the boxers he wore to bed, walked away from the door back into his room, but he didn’t close it behind him, which McKay took as invitation enough. Excruciatingly aware of his current state of undress, the major was about to grab the first shirt he could lay his hands on when McKay said, “Would you, um, would you mind putting some clothes on?”
The major turned to look at him, noticing that McKay seemed acutely uncomfortable, his eyes darting between Lorne’s face and his bare chest. Lorne considered refusing, just to see the bastard sweat, but in the end he grabbed a crumpled Air Force t-shirt and pulled it over his head. He still hadn’t spoken to McKay at all.
He sat on his bed and motioned for McKay to take the chair.
“No thanks. I think I prefer to stand just now.”
Lorne just looked at him.
McKay cleared his throat. “Uh, right. Well, I guess you’re wondering why I’m here, right?”
Still saying nothing, Lorne gave McKay a look that as good as said no shit, Sherlock.
McKay went on, “Right, well...um...there’s something I need to tell you.” He sat down and looked Lorne straight in the eyes for about thirty seconds. The major, still trying to be stoic, was nevertheless unable to hold his gaze. McKay stood back up and began to pace clockwise. “So, this thing I need to tell you,” he went on, hands gesticulating wildly. “It’s kind of hard for me to say. You’d think it would be pretty easy for me to find the words. I mean, I can discourse on quantum mechanics for pages on end, it shouldn’t be so difficult for me to say this, right? I mean, I’m a genius, but they just don’t cover some things in genius school. Right, well, I guess the best thing is to just say it. I like you, major. Really like you.” He stopped for a moment, face scrunched in thought, then began pacing the other direction. “That’s not quite right. I...I think...that is...I mean I’m pretty sure...I think I might love you. I tried not to. I mean it’s completely inappropriate. You’re a grunt for godsakes, and look at me, I’m a genius. Plus, you’ve got that whole military mindset, and, yeah, you’ve got your masters, but it’s in geology. Geology. Who decides they want to study rocks for a living anyway? But that’s not the point. The point is, I think I love you.”
McKay stopped pacing and stood with his hands on his hips, looking expectantly at Lorne.
“So what do you want? A lollipop?”
McKay’s face fell. He was clearly devastated, but Lorne just kept going. He’d been building up steam for weeks and now he finally had the chance to let it all out.
“You’re a real bastard, you know that? You come in here and tell me all the reasons you shouldn’t like me, and then what? You want me to fall into your arms and declare my undying love?”
McKay drew himself up to his full height and stuck his chin out defiantly. “Look, I’m not good with emotions okay? Would you rather I had lied and said that I loved you blindly. That I never took your career or your education into account? That I don’t care that you get paid to run around with guns while the rest of us do the real work? Well, I’m sorry, Major. I can’t lie to you.”
“I don’t think you quite understand, McKay. The fact that you’re a bastard just makes it easier for me to say what I’ve got to say. From the moment we met you’ve made it perfectly clear that you consider me to be beneath you. You think I’m a stupid meathead who couldn’t cut it in the hard sciences.”
McKay spluttered, obviously ready to defend himself, but Lorne didn’t give him the chance. “But even if that weren’t true. Even if you’d been a decent human being to everyone on this base, I would still have turned you down. You stuck your nose in where it didn’t belong and you ruined any chance Sheppard might have had with Dr. Beckett. He’s your friend, McKay. How on earth do you justify that to yourself?”
McKay opened his mouth to respond, but Lorne cut him off, “No. I don’t want to know. Just get out already. I’ve wasted enough time on you tonight.”
A deep crimson blush flooded McKay’s face, but he spun on his heel and stormed out of Lorne’s room with all the dignity he could muster. Lorne called after him, “And I’m not a grunt, I’m a flyboy ” and thought the door closed behind him, wishing that, just this once, it would give thesatisfying slam of a good, earth-style, wooden door.
***
The next day, when Lorne turned on his laptop to work on writing up the report for his latest mission, he noticed he had an email from McKay. It had been sent that morning at 0430, and was long enough that Lorne was almost certain McKay had stayed up all night writing it.
His first impulse was to delete it without a second thought, but, in the end, he decided to give himself a few moments to cool down before reading it, so he poured himself a cup of coffee and prepared himself to be as understanding as possible under the circumstances.
To: Major Evan Lorne, USAF
From: Dr. M. Rodney McKay, civ., Can.
Major Lorne,
I didn’t trust myself to say all that needed to be said last night without losing my temper and ruining the vindicating effect I hope the information I’m about to convey will have. I assure you that I will not repeat any of what I said last night.
Regarding your accusation that I deliberately interfered in the relationship of Col. Sheppard and Dr. Beckett with the express purpose of separating the two of them, I have no desire to refute this. It is entirely true. I hope you will allow me to explain my reasons for doing so.
First, I have long been of the opinion that any romantic relationships between the science staff and the military contingent should be avoided at all costs. The two disciplines are completely unsuited for one another. Whatever you may think of me, I do care about the emotional well-being of every person on my staff. Entering into a romantic relationship with a soldier can only cause unnecessary stress and emotional discomfort to those not used to living in mortal danger.
Second, in the specific case of Dr. Beckett and Col. Sheppard, I thought this general rule to be particularly useful. Dr. Beckett, in particular, is prone to worry about all of his patients, and deepening the bond between himself and Col. Sheppard would seriously have hindered his ability to perform his duties every time our team went through the gate. It’s no secret that Col. Sheppard is one of the most foolishly heroic members of this expedition and routinely puts himself in danger without regard for personal safety. I am sure you read the mission reports from the incident on P4X - 292 (commonly referred to as Hoff). The loss of the Hoffan scientist Perna had a devastating effect on Dr. Beckett, and I have no desire to see him suffer through another experience like that one.
Third, with regard to your question of my actions and their effect on my friend Col. Sheppard, I felt no guilt. Col. Sheppard is well known for his tendency to flirt with no serious interest in the object of his flirtation. I was, and am, of the opinion that Col. Sheppard did not take the relationship as seriously as Dr. Beckett was beginning to. He showed no signs that his feelings for Dr. Beckett were any more intense than his feelings for any of the impressive number of scientists, soldiers and Pegasus Galaxy natives with whom he has engaged in flirtations since our arrival here.
The only part of my conduct that I feel may be reprehensible is that I did not tell Dr. Beckett that Col. Sheppard came looking for him after Dr. Beckett broke off relations.
I hope these explanations have acquitted my actions in your sight. I trust that we will be able to work together in the future without incident.
Sincerely,
Dr. M. Rodney Mckay, civ., Can.
Sighing, Lorne closed his laptop and shook his head. Obviously, McKay was much better at expressing himself when faced with an inanimate object such as a computer screen rather than an actual human being. Lorne still didn’t approve of McKay’s actions, and he certainly didn’t think any better of him as a person, but he was willing to admit that his motives, at least, had been pure. McKay was still a proud and self-important ass, but Lorne resolved from that day to make no more judgments on his character without empirical proof.
***
Lorne knew that he would eventually have to see McKay again, he just hoped it would be a long time in the future. His hope, sadly, proved to be in vain. Major Fitzwilliam’s team had brought back some highly unusual soil and rock samples from P4X-953, and Dr. Weir asked him to lend his geological expertise in the labs.
Dr. McKay was scheduled to be on the mainland on Lorne’s first day in the lab, and he was grateful for that small mercy.
The universe, it seemed, held his thanks in low regard, because he’d only been analyzing the first soil sample for about fifteen minutes when he heard a familiar, irritated voice saying, “Did I ask you to recalibrate my life signs detector?”
Lorne couldn’t hear the response, but he didn’t need to. McKay was on the warpath, and only his side of the conversation mattered at this point.
“So what on earth made you think it would be a good idea, hm? It’s not like these things grow on trees, you know. I’m confiscating yours. You can use the broken one until you figure out what you did to it. Until then I’m pulling you off all your other projects. If you have time to break valuable equipment, you most certainly have time to....” McKay’s diatribe ended abruptly when he caught sight of Major Lorne. “Er...run along now, and try not to break anything.” His voice was much less strident than it had been as he waved the unfortunate scientist away with a vague gesture of his hand.
Lorne had been trying not to look like he’d been eavesdropping, but eventually he gave up, deciding that if McKay were concerned about people listening in, he should have kept his voice down.
McKay, for his part, regained his composure startlingly quickly, and walked serenely over to the major. “Major Lorne, uh...what brings you to the labs?”
“Dr. Weir wanted me to take a look at these samples from P4X-953.”
“Oh...of course...um...how’s that going?”
If Lorne hadn’t felt so uncomfortable himself, he would’ve felt sorry for McKay, seeing him in this state. “Um...I just got started. I haven’t really accomplished anything yet. Uh, aren’t you supposed to be on the mainland?”
“What? Oh, right. Yeah, actually. But I came back early to check on some of Zelenka’s projects. I’ll, uh, let you get on with your analysis then. Um...good luck.” McKay gave Lorne a little wave and shuffled off to another area of the labs.
Several hours later, Lorne was making great headway on one of the rock samples. It seemed to have many of the same properties as trinium. If they could work out a way to refine it properly, it could help them immensely in their fight with the Wraith, maybe even help the SGC against the Ori.
He was completely absorbed in his project when he heard a soft cough behind him. He turned to see McKay standing in the doorway, and, looking around, realized he was the only one still in the lab.
“Making any progress?”
“Yeah. This could be some pretty important stuff. It’s like trinium, only...”
McKay cut him off with an impatient wave of his hand. “Listen, I’d really like to hear about it, but would you mind telling me over dinner? If we don’t leave soon, they’ll be out of blue jell-o.”
Lorne looked at his watch and saw that it was about an hour later than he usually had dinner. “Man, I didn’t realize it was so late. Dinner sounds great.” They both laughed as this statement was punctuated by a loud rumble from Lorne’s stomach.
“Great. Good. Miko’s saving us seats, let’s get going.”
“Miko?”
“Dr. Kusanagi. I hope you don’t mind. She really wanted to meet you.”
“Oh, um, okay.” The major was a bit surprised by this information, but he kept silent as he followed McKay to the mess.
***
Dr. Kusanagi had saved them seats at a table full of scientists, and there was a lively stream of chatter already by the time they sat down.
Dr. McKay was in his element here. He joined each conversation in turn, contributing to all and never confusing one with another. Lorne was amazed that he could follow that much technobabble at once. Dr. Kusanagi sat silently for the most part, only occasionally speaking up to make polite inquiries to the major about his current project and some of his recent missions.
Major Lorne was trying to keep up with the conversation to his immediate left, which seemed to concern a theory that the transporter technology could be adjusted to be used as replicators (the Star Trek kind, not the real ones). It was only a lucky chance that he picked up a snippet from the conversation to his right.
“Did you hear that Kavanaugh tried to hit on Simpson?”
There was a quiet gasp on Lorne’s right, and the major could feel Dr. Kusanagi stiffening. McKay looked up sharply, casting Miko a worried glance.
Remembering what Zelenka had told him about the history between Drs. Kavanaugh and Kusanagi, Lorne picked up the slack, “So, Dr. Kusanagi, McKay tells me you’ve got a theory about the soil sample from P4X-953.”
As Miko launched timidly into an explanation of her ideas about one of the trace minerals in the soil, Lorne shot McKay a sideways look, only to find the man gazing at him with obvious gratitude and a hint of something else. Affection?.
***
The next morning, Lorne was getting ready for his weekly visit to M9G-283, when he heard the door chime. He thought it open and called out, “Come in,” while he continued rummaging through his sock drawer for his good luck charm.
“Um...is this a bad time?”
Lorne looked up to see McKay standing nervously in the doorframe.
“Uh, yeah. Yeah it kind of is.”
“Is there anything I can help you with?”
“No. I’m just looking for my good luck charm. I’m scheduled to go off-world in about,” Lorne glanced at his watch, “fifteen minutes.”
“Oh, well, can I help you look?”
“Nah, I better get going. Don’t want to keep my team waiting. Did you want to see me about something?”
“Er...I was going to ask if you wanted to have lunch with Miko and I today, but I guess you’re busy.”
“Yeah, sorry.”
“No problem. Um...Maybe you left your charm thingy in the labs? I’ll keep an eye out for it. What’s it look like?”
“It’s a saint’s medallion.”
“Really?” The disdain in McKay’s voice was practically palpable.
Lorne crossed his arms. “Yeah, really. My grandma gave it to me when I joined the Academy.”
McKay looked sheepishly at him, “Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean...I’ll check at your station.”
Lorne smiled at him and patted him on the shoulder as he bounded down the hallway, calling over his shoulder, “Thanks, McKay.”
***
Days later, when the news had come back that Lorne and most of his team had been killed, Col. Sheppard found Dr. McKay sitting at Lorne’s desk in the labs. He was holding something tightly in his right hand, a delicate silver chain was just visible, dangling from McKay’s clenched fist.
“Hey, Rodney. You okay?”
“Dominic de Guzman.”
“What?”
“Lorne’s good luck charm. He couldn’t find it before he left on that mission. I told him I’d look for it. It’s a saint’s medallion. St. Dominic de Guzman.”
“I’m guessing there’s some significance here that I’m missing.” As he spoke, Sheppard placed a hand on his friend’s shoulder, knowing Rodney needed something to ground him.
“Dominic de Guzman is the patron saint of astronomers and scientists.”
“And you think that this has special meaning somehow. Like maybe if you’d found it sooner, none of this would have happened.”
Even in his current state of distress, Rodney managed to look condescending. “Please, Colonel. Like this little piece of metal could have stopped....” He trailed off, unable to give voice to the terrible tragedy that had occurred.
“It’s okay, Rodney. It’s not your fault.” Sheppard patted him awkwardly on the back, wishing he knew the right words to say to fix Rodney. He wasn’t used to seeing the man so...emotional.
“I just...I just can’t believe he’s gone. He’s gone, and I never really knew him at all.”
Sheppard didn’t know what to say so he just repeated, “It’s not your fault.”
“No. But something else is.” Without any explanation, Rodney jumped up and ran out of the labs.
***
“He came looking for me? And you didnae see fit to tell me?” Carson’s brogue was always stronger when he was upset, and this was no exception.
“Yes and yes and I’m sorry. I think you’ve really got a chance with Sheppard. You should definitely try again.”
“Why are you telling me this now?”
“Sometimes it takes something drastic to show you what’s really important.”
“What?”
“I was wrong, okay?”
***
When the whole fiasco was over, and everyone had been brought back to Atlantis safely, McKay stayed away from the major. Lorne figured it was because he’d proven his theories right. The day he’d left on the ill-fated mission, he’d been nearly certain McKay was going to ask him out again. What surprised him more than that was that he wanted McKay to ask him. Now he’d gone and gotten himself captured and given McKay one more reason why soldiers and scientists just didn’t belong together.
Lorne thought that the universe must really, really hate him. Just when he was realizing how much he cared for McKay, something happened to separate them even more. The only contact he’d had with McKay since he got back was a note taped to his computer next to his good luck charm, saying, “Don’t lose it again - McKay.”
The only comfort in never having to see McKay was that it made it easier for Lorne to pretend he was over the snarky physicist.
But, of course, the universe was having none of that. Sheppard and Beckett had finally gotten together, but, because of the delicate position that put the colonel in, it was necessary for them to spend as little time alone together as possible. This led to Lorne and McKay being dragged along as chaperones.
The third time they ended up walking fifteen feet behind the happy couple towards a deserted balcony on the Northeast pier, Lorne tugged McKay into a small alcove and said, “I...I wanted to thank you.”
McKay’s brow furrowed in confusion. “For what?”
“Well, for finding my medallion first of all, but mostly for helping to rescue my team.”
McKay snorted. “Don’t thank me for that. I didn’t do anything for them. You were the only one I was thinking of.”
Lorne stared at him in shock.
McKay continued, “Look, if you still feel the same way you did before, just tell me, okay? I can take it. I just can’t take not knowing. I’m still in...I still love you.” He looked down at his feet in embarrassment.
Lorne placed a hand under his chin and tilted his face up until they were eye to eye. “I’m so sorry for what I said then. I think...I think I...I love you, too, McKay.”
McKay smiled a little, “Rodney.”
“Evan.”
Rodney grinned now, “Evan?”
“Yeah?”
“Quit smirking and kiss me already.”
So he quit being idiotic, and he stopped keeping the good doctor waiting. It was time to finally find out what it took to straighten out that crooked mouth.
***
Three days later, the two of them lay in McKay’s bed sweaty and sated.
Rodney looked at Evan and said, “I never would have guessed that a grunt would be so creative.”
“Who would have thought that a nerd would be so talented with his mouth?”
“I am not a nerd. I’m a geek.”
“And I’m a flyboy.”
fin
Tags:
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2007-03-28 08:37 pm (UTC)And I did finally see the Keira Knightley version, shortly after writing this, actually. I...well...let's just say I had very low expectations and it failed to meet even those. I'm glad you liked it though. It just didn't work for me :).