Can't Rush a Miracle (G)
Apr. 10th, 2007 09:20 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
skidmo_ficTitle: Can’t Rush a Miracle
Rating: G
Pairing: Lorne/McKay
Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me...sadly
Feedback: yes, please.
Summary: Lorne flusters Rodney with an odd turn of phrase.
Prompt: “As you wish” meaning “I love you”
A/N: title comes from The Princess Bride, as does some of the dialogue at the end. If you haven't seen The Princess Bride, you might be confused by some of this. Also, if you haven't seen The Princess Bride, go out right now and find a copy:).
“Okay, that was weird.”
John looked up as Rodney slammed his tray down onto the table and dropped into the chair opposite.
“Hi, Colonel. How are you today? Oh, fine, fine. How are you, McKay?”
Rodney frowned over his sandwich, rolling his eyes dramatically. “Yes, yes, trivial pleasantries. I thought we’d moved past our need to feign interest in the mundane details of each others’ lives.”
“It’s still polite to say hello.”
The sandwich fell back to the plate with a splattering noise. “Fine. How are you, Colonel? Seduced any alien priestesses lately?”
“Ha ha, McKay.” John’s face scrunched into a displeased grimace. “So, what’s weird?”
“Huh?”
“You said, and I quote, ‘Okay, that was weird.’ What was?”
“Oh, that.”
“Yeah, that.”
“It’s nothing really. I just asked Major Lorne to tell his minions not to take their runs past the botany labs. They’re distracting the squishy scientists.”
John smirked for a moment at the mental picture conjured by “squishy scientists,” momentarily thinking that it might make a good line of plush children’s toys, before returning his attention to the not-so-squishy scientist at hand. “And that’s weird because...?”
“I haven’t gotten to the weird part yet.”
“Sorry.”
“Yes, well. Umm....”
“The marines are distracting the botanists.”
“Right. So I asked Lorne to tell them to stop, and he said, ‘As you wish.’”
Rodney picked his sandwich back up and examined it for stray citrus while the colonel choked on his own lunch. McKay gave him an odd look as he began munching on his apparently lemon-free turkey.
When John finally managed to swallow, he asked, “He said what?”
“I know. Weird isn’t it? I mean, who says that?”
“He said, ‘As you wish’?”
“Yeah.”
“And you think that’s weird because...?”
“Well, I mean, people don’t talk like that. Lorne certainly doesn’t. I was expecting a, ‘You got it, Doc.’ Or maybe an argument about how the corridors were free space and he couldn’t order his men not to run there.”
John fought to keep his face blank as he processed this tidbit. It was probably just a coincidence. Maybe it was just a verbal tick Lorne had that no one had noticed before. “And that’s the only reason you think it’s weird.”
“Yeah. Why else would I.... Wait, that’s not some sort of military code is it? Was he making fun of me?”
John told himself that his involuntary eyerolling was no where near as dramatic as McKay’s had been. “No, McKay. It’s not some military code.”
“Okay then.”
“Okay.”
John finished the last of his meal and excused himself, trying not to think about Lorne’s strange turn of phrase and its possible connotations.
***
Over the next few days, John paid more attention to Lorne’s speech patterns, but not once did the major answer a request with, “As you wish.” Not that that meant anything. It was possible that Lorne had just been in a strange mood that day. Maybe he had other reasons for responding to McKay with that specific phrase. It was no good reading into things.
***
John sat in the mess nursing his coffee and wondering if the new linguist was a real blonde, when Rodney slammed his tray down across from him. John glanced up at the physicist over his steaming mug and raised an eyebrow inquisitively.
“He did it again.”
“Good morning, Colonel. Anything exciting planned for the day? Why, yes, McKay. Thank you for asking.”
Rodney waved his hand impatiently as he plopped into the chair. “Yes, yes, meaningless salutations and inquiries about health.”
“Well, if you’re not going to play nice, I’ll just take my toys to another sandbox.”
Rodney’s eyeroll was bordering on melodrama this time.
“Okay, I’ll bite. Who did what again?”
“Lorne.”
“Lorne did what?”
“I told him that I needed his team to escort Dr. Kusanagi to P3M-928, and he said, ‘As you wish.’ Are you sure he passed his latest psych eval?”
“No. Didn’t I tell you? Heightmeyer said he’s mad as a march hare, but it doesn’t seem to be affecting his work, so I didn’t want to make a big deal of it.”
“Ha ha, Colonel. You’re a budding George Carlin you are.”
“Maybe it’s just his thing.”
“His thing?”
“Yeah. You’ve got your arrogant bastard attitude. Teyla’s got her mysteriously serene alien vibe. Maybe Lorne’s just the ‘As you wish’ guy.”
“You really think so?”
John drained the rest of his coffee and stood up. “I don’t know, Rodney. And frankly, I don’t care.”
***
The thing was, John did care. Not for the reasons you might think. He wasn’t jealous. He’d heard the rumors flying about him and McKay, but really, they were just good friends. He couldn’t help it if it was so easy to bicker with McKay like an old married couple.
And he didn’t really care if Lorne was gay. Good for him if he was. John wasn’t going to start an investigation.
But he really wanted to know if he was just being paranoid or if there was more to the “As you wish” business than Lorne trying to keep McKay off balance.
What was it they said? Twice is coincidence three times is something more?
He’d give it a few more weeks.
***
It didn’t take that long.
Four days later, his team and Lorne’s were on a joint mission to M9G-298, when McKay asked Lorne to give him a powerbar.
“I’m in serious need of sugar right now. I can feel the hypoglycemic shock setting in.”
Lorne just smiled and fished the foil package out of his tac vest, handing it over, and saying, “As you wish.”
Rodney looked a bit flustered, but Lorne just smirked and kept walking, ignoring the intrigued look John was sending him.
Not just coincidence then.
***
Sheppard dropped his tray across from Rodney and flopped into the chair. “Hey, McKay. How’s it going?”
“Fine. Actually, I was just leaving. I left Simpson working on the power fluctuation problems, and I’ve got to check on her before she tries implementing her insane solution.”
“See? You can totally do the social niceties bit.”
Rodney smirked sarcastically in reply.
“You gonna be in the lab all night?”
“Probably not. Why?”
“I got a new DVD from the Daedelus, and I thought maybe we could do a movie night.”
“What is it?”
“Something you haven’t seen.”
Rodney looked unconvinced.
“You’ll like it. I promise.” He put on his best innocent-but-eager face and pouted a little bit.
Sheppard wondered how Rodney avoided pulling a muscle in his eye socket with all that rolling.
“Fine, fine. But if it’s something like Back to the Future, I’m never speaking to you again.”
“Great. See you at 2130 then.”
***
When Rodney got to the room they’d converted into a makeshift theatre for movie nights, Sheppard was already there with Major Lorne.
“Are you going to tell me what it is now, or do I have to wait until the opening credits?”
“Hello, Sheppard, Lorne. How are you on this fine evening? Not bad, Rodney. Did you manage to save the city from incompetence?”
Rodney gave Sheppard his best “You are so not funny” glare, and crossed his arms.
“It’s The Princess Bride.”
“Is this a chick flick?”
“Of course not. It’s got fencing. Fighting. Torture. Revenge. Giants. Monsters. Chases. Escapes. True love. Miracles.”
“Fine. I guess I can sit through that.”
“Oh. Well, thank you very much. It's very nice of you. Your vote of confidence is overwhelming.”
Sheppard was making a voice that sounded oddly like Columbo, and Lorne was smirking, so Rodney figured he must be missing out on some military joke. He dropped onto the couch and said, “Who else are we waiting for?”
“No one. Nobody else could come.”
Rodney looked at Sheppard suspiciously. “Just the three of us, then?”
Sheppard gave him a look that was too serene to be honest. “Actually, Elizabeth just called me. She needs to see me in her office. I’m just going to pop the disc in and leave you to it. One of you can get it back to me when you’re done.”
Rodney raised an eyebrow at him, but Sheppard just smiled and patted his shoulder as he walked out of the room. “You kids have fun now.”
***
A little over an hour and a half later, Rodney looked over at Lorne who was glancing at him sheepishly from the corner of his eye. “You know, you could’ve just said. You didn’t have to try and be all coy about it.”
The sheepish look had turned hopeful, and Lorne smiled at Rodney. “I didn’t want to assume.”
“Would you just kiss me already?”
“As you wish.”
Rating: G
Pairing: Lorne/McKay
Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me...sadly
Feedback: yes, please.
Summary: Lorne flusters Rodney with an odd turn of phrase.
Prompt: “As you wish” meaning “I love you”
A/N: title comes from The Princess Bride, as does some of the dialogue at the end. If you haven't seen The Princess Bride, you might be confused by some of this. Also, if you haven't seen The Princess Bride, go out right now and find a copy:).
“Okay, that was weird.”
John looked up as Rodney slammed his tray down onto the table and dropped into the chair opposite.
“Hi, Colonel. How are you today? Oh, fine, fine. How are you, McKay?”
Rodney frowned over his sandwich, rolling his eyes dramatically. “Yes, yes, trivial pleasantries. I thought we’d moved past our need to feign interest in the mundane details of each others’ lives.”
“It’s still polite to say hello.”
The sandwich fell back to the plate with a splattering noise. “Fine. How are you, Colonel? Seduced any alien priestesses lately?”
“Ha ha, McKay.” John’s face scrunched into a displeased grimace. “So, what’s weird?”
“Huh?”
“You said, and I quote, ‘Okay, that was weird.’ What was?”
“Oh, that.”
“Yeah, that.”
“It’s nothing really. I just asked Major Lorne to tell his minions not to take their runs past the botany labs. They’re distracting the squishy scientists.”
John smirked for a moment at the mental picture conjured by “squishy scientists,” momentarily thinking that it might make a good line of plush children’s toys, before returning his attention to the not-so-squishy scientist at hand. “And that’s weird because...?”
“I haven’t gotten to the weird part yet.”
“Sorry.”
“Yes, well. Umm....”
“The marines are distracting the botanists.”
“Right. So I asked Lorne to tell them to stop, and he said, ‘As you wish.’”
Rodney picked his sandwich back up and examined it for stray citrus while the colonel choked on his own lunch. McKay gave him an odd look as he began munching on his apparently lemon-free turkey.
When John finally managed to swallow, he asked, “He said what?”
“I know. Weird isn’t it? I mean, who says that?”
“He said, ‘As you wish’?”
“Yeah.”
“And you think that’s weird because...?”
“Well, I mean, people don’t talk like that. Lorne certainly doesn’t. I was expecting a, ‘You got it, Doc.’ Or maybe an argument about how the corridors were free space and he couldn’t order his men not to run there.”
John fought to keep his face blank as he processed this tidbit. It was probably just a coincidence. Maybe it was just a verbal tick Lorne had that no one had noticed before. “And that’s the only reason you think it’s weird.”
“Yeah. Why else would I.... Wait, that’s not some sort of military code is it? Was he making fun of me?”
John told himself that his involuntary eyerolling was no where near as dramatic as McKay’s had been. “No, McKay. It’s not some military code.”
“Okay then.”
“Okay.”
John finished the last of his meal and excused himself, trying not to think about Lorne’s strange turn of phrase and its possible connotations.
***
Over the next few days, John paid more attention to Lorne’s speech patterns, but not once did the major answer a request with, “As you wish.” Not that that meant anything. It was possible that Lorne had just been in a strange mood that day. Maybe he had other reasons for responding to McKay with that specific phrase. It was no good reading into things.
***
John sat in the mess nursing his coffee and wondering if the new linguist was a real blonde, when Rodney slammed his tray down across from him. John glanced up at the physicist over his steaming mug and raised an eyebrow inquisitively.
“He did it again.”
“Good morning, Colonel. Anything exciting planned for the day? Why, yes, McKay. Thank you for asking.”
Rodney waved his hand impatiently as he plopped into the chair. “Yes, yes, meaningless salutations and inquiries about health.”
“Well, if you’re not going to play nice, I’ll just take my toys to another sandbox.”
Rodney’s eyeroll was bordering on melodrama this time.
“Okay, I’ll bite. Who did what again?”
“Lorne.”
“Lorne did what?”
“I told him that I needed his team to escort Dr. Kusanagi to P3M-928, and he said, ‘As you wish.’ Are you sure he passed his latest psych eval?”
“No. Didn’t I tell you? Heightmeyer said he’s mad as a march hare, but it doesn’t seem to be affecting his work, so I didn’t want to make a big deal of it.”
“Ha ha, Colonel. You’re a budding George Carlin you are.”
“Maybe it’s just his thing.”
“His thing?”
“Yeah. You’ve got your arrogant bastard attitude. Teyla’s got her mysteriously serene alien vibe. Maybe Lorne’s just the ‘As you wish’ guy.”
“You really think so?”
John drained the rest of his coffee and stood up. “I don’t know, Rodney. And frankly, I don’t care.”
***
The thing was, John did care. Not for the reasons you might think. He wasn’t jealous. He’d heard the rumors flying about him and McKay, but really, they were just good friends. He couldn’t help it if it was so easy to bicker with McKay like an old married couple.
And he didn’t really care if Lorne was gay. Good for him if he was. John wasn’t going to start an investigation.
But he really wanted to know if he was just being paranoid or if there was more to the “As you wish” business than Lorne trying to keep McKay off balance.
What was it they said? Twice is coincidence three times is something more?
He’d give it a few more weeks.
***
It didn’t take that long.
Four days later, his team and Lorne’s were on a joint mission to M9G-298, when McKay asked Lorne to give him a powerbar.
“I’m in serious need of sugar right now. I can feel the hypoglycemic shock setting in.”
Lorne just smiled and fished the foil package out of his tac vest, handing it over, and saying, “As you wish.”
Rodney looked a bit flustered, but Lorne just smirked and kept walking, ignoring the intrigued look John was sending him.
Not just coincidence then.
***
Sheppard dropped his tray across from Rodney and flopped into the chair. “Hey, McKay. How’s it going?”
“Fine. Actually, I was just leaving. I left Simpson working on the power fluctuation problems, and I’ve got to check on her before she tries implementing her insane solution.”
“See? You can totally do the social niceties bit.”
Rodney smirked sarcastically in reply.
“You gonna be in the lab all night?”
“Probably not. Why?”
“I got a new DVD from the Daedelus, and I thought maybe we could do a movie night.”
“What is it?”
“Something you haven’t seen.”
Rodney looked unconvinced.
“You’ll like it. I promise.” He put on his best innocent-but-eager face and pouted a little bit.
Sheppard wondered how Rodney avoided pulling a muscle in his eye socket with all that rolling.
“Fine, fine. But if it’s something like Back to the Future, I’m never speaking to you again.”
“Great. See you at 2130 then.”
***
When Rodney got to the room they’d converted into a makeshift theatre for movie nights, Sheppard was already there with Major Lorne.
“Are you going to tell me what it is now, or do I have to wait until the opening credits?”
“Hello, Sheppard, Lorne. How are you on this fine evening? Not bad, Rodney. Did you manage to save the city from incompetence?”
Rodney gave Sheppard his best “You are so not funny” glare, and crossed his arms.
“It’s The Princess Bride.”
“Is this a chick flick?”
“Of course not. It’s got fencing. Fighting. Torture. Revenge. Giants. Monsters. Chases. Escapes. True love. Miracles.”
“Fine. I guess I can sit through that.”
“Oh. Well, thank you very much. It's very nice of you. Your vote of confidence is overwhelming.”
Sheppard was making a voice that sounded oddly like Columbo, and Lorne was smirking, so Rodney figured he must be missing out on some military joke. He dropped onto the couch and said, “Who else are we waiting for?”
“No one. Nobody else could come.”
Rodney looked at Sheppard suspiciously. “Just the three of us, then?”
Sheppard gave him a look that was too serene to be honest. “Actually, Elizabeth just called me. She needs to see me in her office. I’m just going to pop the disc in and leave you to it. One of you can get it back to me when you’re done.”
Rodney raised an eyebrow at him, but Sheppard just smiled and patted his shoulder as he walked out of the room. “You kids have fun now.”
***
A little over an hour and a half later, Rodney looked over at Lorne who was glancing at him sheepishly from the corner of his eye. “You know, you could’ve just said. You didn’t have to try and be all coy about it.”
The sheepish look had turned hopeful, and Lorne smiled at Rodney. “I didn’t want to assume.”
“Would you just kiss me already?”
“As you wish.”
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Date: 2007-04-12 01:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-04-12 01:38 am (UTC)