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Title: Fear and Hope
Rating: G
Pairing: Sheppard/Beckett, pre-slash
Spoilers: Instinct
Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me...sadly
Feedback: yes, please.
Summary: The Pegasus galaxy sucked all the hope out, just like the Wraith sucked all the life out
Author’s Notes: written for the [livejournal.com profile] gatecreation episodes challenge.




John watched as Carson packed his medkit for the trip to Zaddik’s planet. He could see the emotions warring in the other man’s eyes. They really hadn’t known each other all that long. A little over a year. And they hadn’t been close, or even friendly for all of that time. John counted the time they’d been friends as starting just after Hoff. That’s when he’d really come to respect the doctor. It wasn’t until the siege that he’d realized just how much Carson meant to him. Since then he’d consciously spent more and more time with Carson. Now he figured he knew the man about as well as anyone ever had.

And Carson was afraid.

John could see it in the tightness of those broad shoulders. He was hopeful too. That came out in the brightness of his clear, blue eyes. He was afraid to hope.

John couldn’t blame him, really. The Pegasus galaxy had a way of doing that to you. It sucked all the hope out, just like the Wraith sucked all the life out.

Once upon a time...

No that was wrong. That implied there would be a happily ever after, and John was too pragmatic to believe that.

Back in the day, Pegasus belonged to the Ancients. It was their galaxy. They had seeded it with life. They ran the show.

Now, as much as John hated to admit it, it was the Wraith’s galaxy. They had seeded it with fear. They ran the show.

It was something John had learned to live with. It wasn’t something he liked, but he could deal.

Watching Carson, though, watching the man John had learned to go to whenever he needed someone to cheer him up, someone to make him forget that he didn’t have all the answers, watching this amazing man, afraid to hope, it was killing him.

It was a singularly bad idea to bring Carson along with them to run tests on an adolescent Wraith, no matter how certain her “father” was that she’d been cured. But watching the fear and the hope battling for dominance in Carson’s face, John knew that he never stood a chance of saying no to this man. He had to give him one last chance for hope. Even if he believed the fear would win out in the end. And rightly so.

John leaned over to pick up the notepad Carson had dropped. When he handed it over, their hands brushed, and Carson smiled at him, and for one tentative moment, John almost believed in happily ever after.

fin

Date: 2007-02-04 11:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] victoriaely.livejournal.com
I love the fact that you showed how John got to respect Carson in time, that they relationship evolved and how he got to understand Carson and be aware of that.

The Ancients/Wraith parallel is very interesting.

Date: 2007-02-04 09:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] skidmo-fic.livejournal.com
Thanks! I'm glad you liked it.

Date: 2007-02-22 01:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kaziwren.livejournal.com
Don't mind me. I'm just catching up on your wonderful stories. This was beautifully written. I like your style!

Date: 2007-02-22 02:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] skidmo-fic.livejournal.com
Thank you! And thanks for taking the time to comment :).

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