skidmo_fic: (fraser)
[personal profile] skidmo_fic
Title: Unicorn Experts
Rating: PG
Pairing: Fraser/RayK (Due South)
Word Count: 332
Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me...sadly
Feedback: yes, please.
Summary: Fraser is not an expert on unicorns
A/N: For [livejournal.com profile] athousanderrors, who requested: Fraser/RayK, unicorns.





“I think it’s a unicorn, Ray.”

“Don’t be stupid, Fraser. Unicorns are…whadya call it…misnomers.”

“Mythological?”

“Yeah, that.”

“Be that as it may, Ray, this animal does appear to be a unicorn.”

“Oh, yeah? And what makes you the expert on unicorns, huh?”

“Well, there’s a very old Inuit myth about a Caribou with only one antler, and some historians believe that it may be the origin for the overarching concept of unicorns.”

“You ever seen a unicorn, Fraser?”

“You mean, excluding the one right here?”

“Yeah. You ever seen a unicorn before this unicorn that isn’t really a unicorn?”

“No.”

“So you’re not a expert on unicorns then, are you?”

“Well, I suppose not, Ray, but…”

“No buts. You never seen a unicorn, so you ain’t a expert.”

“All right, Ray. If it isn’t a unicorn, what do you suppose it is?”

“It’s…a horse.”

“A horse with a horn in the center of its forehead?”

“Yeah. A horse that happens to have some kinda deformity that makes it grow a horn out of its forehead. You got a problem with that?”

“No. No problem.”

“Good…Fraser?”

“Yes, Ray?”

“The horse is eyeing me funny.”

“Ah.”

“Ah? A friggin’ massive horse with a friggin’ horn in his forehead is eyeing me funny, and all you can say is ‘Ah’?”

“Well, Ray, I’m sure it’s nothing. If this really is just a horse, then you have nothing to worry about. Horses are generally mild-mannered creatures, who will not attack unless provoked or threatened.”

“And if it ain’t really a horse?”

“Then we may have a problem.”

“Why’s that?”

“Well…unicorns are rumored to have a particular preference for both women and virgins.”

“Which we ain’t neither of.”

“Precisely.”

“Damn.”

“Yes, indeed.”

“Fraser?”

“Yes, Ray?”

“If we get outta this, you and me are never touching again.”

“I don’t believe virginity can be created retroactively, Ray.”

“Huh?”

“You can’t go back.”

“Oh.”

“Yes.”

“Fraser?”

“Yes, Ray?”

“I wasn’t really going to stop touching you.”

“…I know, Ray.”


fin

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July 2012

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